Can my spouse take all the furniture, empty the house and leave with the car and children without a sign agreement?


My spouse refuses to negotiate the separation agreement, she does not agree with anything unless I give her everything she wants. We have been married for 8 1/2 years and we have two children, 9 and 5 years old.

I am the only provider for the family, and during our marriage, I have bend over backwards for her and always caved in on all her demands, now she expects me to do it one more time.

She told me today that her father is coming next week from Maine and they will look for a rental home for her, and he will help her to move out of the family home home with or without a separation agreement. She said that if I do not accept all her terms, she will take me to court even if she gets less. She indicated that she wants to make my life as difficult as possible.

  1. She wants to have custody of the children, and I should only have them 10 nights per month, all year around, plus 2 weeks vacation. She said that she could not bear to get home without seeing her children.

  2. She wants $68,000 Alimony paid to her in a lump sum amount. I don’t have this money at this time, but she knows that I will have to get it from my parents.

  3. She wants all the marital property, including all the furniture in the house etc.

  4. She said that her father will support her until we have an agreement, and then he wants me to pay him back…… I am not planning to sign any agreements with her father.

My questions are the following:

  1. Can she take all the furniture, empty the house and leave with the car and children?
  2. If she does move out of the marital home and takes me to court because we cannot reach an agreement, since I do not agree with all her conditions, how do I see my children if she decides not to let me see them?
  3. Since we don’t have and agreement, how can I force her to let me see them? Do I call the police because she left the house with our children?
  4. Since she does not have any money because she does not work, and she does not want to find work, (even thought she is 33 years old and has a college degree) do I have an obligation to pay her Alimony without any agreement?

made this topic public #2

  1. Yes, she could empty the house and leave with the car and children but this would not go over well for her. You would be able to file a lawsuit against her for equitable distribution, child custody, etc. A judge will not like if she left with the children and refused any custodial time for you.

  2. A custody action can be filed at any time but equitable distribution (property) cannot be filed until there is a separation. You would need to immediately file a custody action if she were to prevent you from seeing the children.

  3. The police will be unable to assist because this would be a civil matter. You would have to file an immediate custody action. You should document everything that happens in a calendar so that you will have it if/when you need to testify (i.e. keep track of when you ask to see the children, her response, etc. etc.).

  4. You should voluntarily pay her family support though you would have no obligation to do so without a court order or binding separation agreement. The reason for still providing temporary support is so it shows that you are trying to provide for your children, which judges will want to see.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

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