Separation and Divorce Questions


#1

I would like to know what I need to do to get my separation and what my consequence are if I am the person that leaves the house. She already knows that I want to leave but she doesn’t want to do an agreement. And if she does an agreement she wants 100% of our son and wants to stay in the house. In another word, she wants it all.
We have a son (9 years old). I want at least 50% to 100% of my son. If I am the person that leaves the house, this will affect me?? We have been married for 13 years.
I was unemployed for 2 years. I am working now, but no on my field. Right now she makes more money than me. I still am looking for another job on my field. I just want my part of the time with my son. From the beginning I always want to have children, in the other hand, she didn’t want. We only have one because she didn’t want more. I spend a lot of time with my son.
Other question is about the house. I want to sell the house but she doesn’t want to sell it. She said that she want to stay in the house. If I move out, I won’t be able to pay for part of the house and apartment for me. I am sure she can’t pay for the house by herself. She always had money problem, in fact that is one of the reason that I want to get out of this marriage. She told me last month that she is $40K in debt (credit card). She always had problem with money but not like this. At one time she had around $20K in debt and I took her credit card always and start pay for her debt.
Please let me know if you need more information from me to answer my questions.
Thank you


#2

Leaving the house does not legally affect your custodial rights, in that until an order or Agreement is in place you both have equal rights to the child. However, practically speaking, by leaving the house, your access to the child may become limited, as you cannot return to the home without the permission of your ex.
If she cannot afford to keep the home on her own, it will need to be sold.


#3

Sorry but I am confuse. How I am going to have the same right if I can’t return to the house where my son is? She is not going to agree. What about if she doesn’t let me see my son? If there is not an agreement, when I will have my 50% of my son? I know that take one year to get a divorce, but what will be the time to get the 50%. What happen in the mean time?
Do I have to give her money if my salary is less than her?


#4

Do not leave. You could be accused of abandonment. If she is capable of lying under oath, and to an attorney, it could add thousands of dollars to a legal bill and time away from your son. I am speaking from past experience in my own matters as a Dad falsely accused 16 months ago and still paying the price. First step if you can’t afford an attorney is go to Legal Aid for advice and a strategy. Second step is to be aware that she could file a domestic violence charge (regardless of whether there was one or not) and an ex parte, you would be removed from the house by the police and given 10 days for a hearing. That sets you both on the road to expensive legal bills. Avoid the court at all cost. Legal Aid will show you how to make a simple written agreement and file it before a judge and both of you can move on without incurring thousands of dollars in debt.


#5

I suggest you file an action for custody, both temporary and permanent and get a hearing set as soon as possible in order that the court may outline a custodial schedule.
You may have a child support obligation.


#6

If I file an action for custody, what this exactly will do? Do I do it before leave the house? I don’t understand why I will have a child support obligation?
I am sure she wants the separation/divorce too, but she doesn’t want to do the first step. I guess, if she does the first step is not good for her???


#7

If she has custody of your son f/t you have to support your child. It doesn’t matter if she makes more money its your legal and moral obligation. You can’t be legally separated if your in the house so if you want to leave, you file for visitation/custody first then leave. Unfortunately that is going to make living crazy for you. If you really want a divorce and custody, line up a good place to live so when you have her served for custody, you can show stabliltiy. Custody and visitation is different court case from child support. Divorce is separate also. Try to talk to you wife since your are still living together and see if you can work out something between you for the best interest of your son since you both want to end the marriage. Thats what I did with my 1st husband and it worked out better rather than me surprising and blindsiding him.


#8

Filing an action for custody will establish your claim and you will be able to set hearings for the court to rule on the issue of custody and visitation.
Every parent owes an obligation of support to their children, you can read more about it, and even use our child support calculator to estimate your support obligation by going to the child support tab on our home page.


#9

I just want my 50% of my son and separate. She doesn’t want an agreement, she wants that I leave the house. If she wants an agreement, she wants all. She has a big debt and keeps spending money that we don’t have.


#10

I suggest you meet with an attorney to create a plan for litigation, it seems as though you will need the court’s assistance in getting a resolution.