I want to separate


#1

I want to separate (been married ~17 years), but my wife doesn’t want to separate. We have a child 13 years old (At what age he can decide with who want to live?), that he is living in this miserable house.

Our relationship is bad and it is getting worst. I don’t understand why she doesn’t want to separate. She already left the marriage. She is been sleeping in our son’s bedroom for many years. She talks bad about me to our son. I knew that this was happening, but I didn’t have any prove. But last week my son got mad with me and sends me a text with some stuff that her mother told him about me, that it is not true. I guess to put him against me.
She already talked to an attorney and I think her attorney told her that, do not agree with anything with me and to wait until I initial the separation. She wants full custody and I want full custody too, but I can agree with 50/50, she doesn’t.
How I can do this the easy way, so my son doesn’t get hurt in this process?
Thank you!!


#2

There is nothing you can do to force her out of the house. If you are ready to separate, you can always move out yourself, which will trigger legal separation. If you are concerned about your child, I would consider having him see a therapist or other mental health professional to help him through this difficult transition.


#3

Thank you for your answer.
My idea is NOT force her out of the house.
I will be glad to move out. I don’t want to move out and then she uses that against me. I do NOT want to separate from my son.
If we have a child is because me, she didn’t want to have children.
And if we had only one child is because her, my idea was have more children.
If I move out, can I lose my custody? Where the child will be if I move out?

Also, the house is on behalf of the two. Last year, she filed bankruptcy. Do I need to pay both houses?


#4

In some cases it is best to have a temporary agreement on custody in place before a parent moves out. With no order/agreement on custody in place, then you each have equal custodial rights to the child, and that can create some confusion. if your wife won’t agree to reach an agreement on custody, your only recourse is to sue her for child custody and schedule the appropriate hearing.