The court has the power to order one party of the other to make payments towards debts and to hold them in contempt if they do not make said payments. However, even with that order in place it will affect your credit if the payments are not made on time and there is nothing the court can order to shield you from that.
Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax
301 McCullough Drive
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044
Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
This also happened to me. I sacrificed and took on 100% of the debt because I didn’t trust her to pay them on time. She is a horrible manager and had damaged our credit score in the past. It was a huge burden, but I have an EXCELLENT credit score now, and she can’t get credit anywhere.
Unfortunately, the banks don’t care who has to pay, they just want their money. They have no sympathy to your case. You have to weigh what is the lesser of 2 evils. It took 5 years of credit repair BEFORE I left to get it to a good spot. Now it’s great.
My ex and I have been separated for about 3 1/2 years, we are not divorced. He bought a house in April of last year and was told he had to pay PMI because of a credit card that I had not paid off yet. The mortgage company told him he could refinance after one year and would probably not have to the PMI. He essentially blackmailed me and told me that if I did not pay the PMI (which is approx. $56 per month) for at leat one year that he would take me to court, etc. I agreed to pay the PMI and have done so for one year. Now he cannot refinance and I have paid the PMI for one year as I agreed. He is now threatening me again that he is going to take me to court, etc. I feel I am not responsible for this any more and should not have to pay. I admit that the financial problems we had while we were married were my fault, but I do not feel I should have to pay for them forever. We now have separate lives and our own residences and expenses. I am responsible for continuing to pay the PMI?
What is he threatening to take you to court over? If you are still married, legally, your name must be on the deed unless you have signed a quit claim. IMHO, you should not have to pay this to him. If he’s threatening to take you back to court for this money, I do not believe that you would be ordered to pay it. This would be debt after date of separation and would not be considered marital debt.
My suggestion is to file for divorce. If you have moved on with your lives, wouldn’t it be less complicated and cheaper to be on your own finacially for things like this? After divorce, your credit is no longer tied to the ex and you would not be affecting his credit or ability to refinance.
We sold our former residence and he bought his house afterward. We have a separation agreement, so I have no interest in his real property, etc.
He is threatening to take me to court for child support. We have 3 children. Two live with him and 1 lives with me. Although the 2 live with him, I do everything for them. Basically, they only sleep at his house. We share the expenses for the 2 that live with him, but he does nothing for the child that lives with me. He got a DUI two years and just now got his license back. So for two years, I take the children everywhere they need to go, pick them up from school everyday, etc. I am the one who takes off work to take them to the doctor, etc. He does nothing, but claims since the 2 live with him I should pay him child support.
He calls me at work all the time and basically harasses me constantly. He just called and told me that if I did not work something out today, he has the child support papers at his house and will go file them.
I believe you are right that I should go ahead and get a divorce. I will go ahead and get the paperwork going on that ASAP.
Thanks for your response.
My suggestion is to run the child support calculations on the home web site and see what would be owed in child support from either of you. It may be that with the arrangement you have, it wouldn’t be a big deal to let him file for child support. You could actually end up paying out less than you do now. With paying child support you would no longer split expenses except any medical or dental not covered. Everything else would be his responsibility to pay…
It sounds to me as though you could file for custody of the other two children and get this modified so that you have primary custody of all 3. Though you have a separation agreement, from your post you are the primary caregiver. He is correct in that since 2 of the children stay with him more overnights you could possibly have to pay child support, but as far as custody goes, it’s more about the best interest of the child and who has been the primary caregiver in the past.
It sounds to me as though he’s had you doing whatever he wants to keep from going to court and has “bullied” you into thinking that there’s nothing that you can do. It does not sound as though he would have that much more money than you do at his disposal so the only thing that he could do is file for child support. At that time the state will run the calculations and give you an amount to pay them every month. If he makes a lot more than you, it could very well be a minimal amount monthly and they should not go back to the separation date for child support since you had an agreement. Also, since you had an agreement, you should not have been paying him anything more than what was in the agreement. If there was something that “came up” afterwards, that’s after separation and is not marital debt. Your credit only affected his ability to finance because you are still married and the mortgage company could not finance him alone.
My other comment to you would be this, and there may be more to this story, but: why continue to let him keep custody of the 2 children with the alcolhol issue? I’m all for giving someone a 2nd chance but not when it comes to the wellbeing of the child. He got his DUI two years ago and you have been separated over 3 years. If this were me, I would have had custody of all three children as soon as this happened and he would have nothing to hold over my head.
Run the calculator, see what should be being paid, file for divorce and if the amount is suitable, quit paying the money to him and tell him to file for support. It would probably be much easier for you to write a check to the state every month than to deal with him about money as you are now.
Thank you for your comments. And yes, there is a lot more to this story. Basically, he is a total jerk with a very bad temper and who likes to drink a lot. The 2 that live with him are teenagers and they choose to live with him. He has essentially brainwashed them into thinking that everything that happened is my fault. But that is a whole different story.
Anyway, thank you so much for your advice. You have been very helpful.
Separated almost 2 months now and she is not making any payments on her car and a few other smaller loans that are in both of our names. Will this ruin my credit or is there any thing through the separation/divorce process that I can do in order to not be held liable as far as my credit goes. I was thinking that the divorce decree could state that each agrees to make payments and such and that you could send it to the credit bureaus and only the person that took responsibility would get a negative rating for it. Its not like she doesnt have the money. She took all of our savings(over $7000) out of the bank 2 days after I left.