Most would say I am crazy. My wife moved out in July to a apartment. She has said she wants 50/50 custody. Her work requires her to be gone out of state/country every other week. Sometimes home for 2 weeks in a row. At first she wanted the kids to stay with her but they put up resistance and did not want to do that. To make an attempt to not mess their lives up I have allowed her to see them any time she wants, when home. She typically shows up early morning to see them off to school and then maybe later that night. The kids have spent time individually at her place but never more than overnight. They want to be in my home near all thier friends. I have said for their sake I want full physical custody but would allow them to see her any time they like. Would the court allow this type of setup? I know this will be hell for me but my kids mean everything to me. My kids are 11, 13 and 16. For the mothers that read this she is not wanting to see them more then she does now so that is not a factor.
That is not a typical arrangement that a judge would consider due to the fact that it is vague and does not provide structure or routine (i.e. whenever the mother wants to see the kids). It is helpful to have a custody schedule that provides some structure and routine. This is not only for the kids’ benefit but for yours too. If you have something planned with the kids, you would not want the mother to interfere with those plans because she has decided that it is a good time for her to see the kids.
You can include in a court order entered by consent, or ask the judge to include it in his or her order, that in addition to a set schedule, either parent may see the kids at any other time that they mutually agree. This is a common provision in custody orders.
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