not an attorney
As much as I hate it, I have a LOT of experience in what you’re dealing with.
My ex is also a crack/cocaine addict, and I now have sole custody of our child. What helped me when we went to court (initially for emergency custody because he was telling our son that he was coming to take him) was that I had written proof of him being an addict (a letter he wrote to me, in his handwriting, admitting to being an addict and unable to control it), evidence that he gave MY credit card to his drug dealer in exchange for drugs (and the dealer used my credit card to pay for her hotel room…stupid), and the fact that he lied to the judge about his drug use, along with a myriad of other random pieces of proof, like drug paraphernalia that I found in my car (that I repossessed from him after I left - he was the sole driver of it for months before I left). He told him that he had been clean for “6-7 months”. I asked the judge for a drug test to prove it, and he ordered a hair follicle drug test…which he then failed with Astonishingly HIGH numbers (63x the cut-off for positive). The judge forewarned him that if he failed, he would revoke visitatation, which he promptly did.
The rest of the case was transferred to FL (where I moved with our son when we left…drug dealers had our address in NC, it was NOT safe), but he again lied to the court (saying he was going to rehab in order to get a visit in November 2010, which my attorney advised I allow, so I did…and then 2 days later, he ‘changed his mind’ and didn’t go). And, at our divorce hearing (nothing got accomplished in mediation because he refused to show up), he was smug and admitted to everything…our judge told him that she was awarding me sole custody (physical and legal) and that he gets supervised visitation…but in order to get the supervised visitation, he has to pass a 90-day hair follicle drug test AND a same-day urine test to prove his sobriety. This was April 2011…he has not even taken a hair follicle test, and therefore has not seen our son.
Also, for child support, my ex walked out and quit his job the day before our child support hearing (btw, let CSE take care of it for you…way cheap and they keep track of everything and enforce), and the judge didn’t take too kindly to that (again, he lied…said he got laid off…the former employer confirmed that he quit), and imputed income for him. It’s been my experience that the courts don’t like it when ‘fathers’ like this try to skirt the system in an effort to avoid responsibility for their children. My ex got to spend 30 days at “Chez Pokey” for not paying his child support, and now he sends it…it’s sporadic, and he’s behind, but I do get child support from him…I guess he didn’t like jail too much…makes it too hard to find more crack.
So, all this to say that even if he does file for custody, if you have ANY evidence of drug addiction, I would ask the courts to order him to take a hair follicle drug test to either prove his sobriety or how bad his addiction is. That test alone will be a good indicator to the court of if he is suitable to be alone with the children. And these tests canNOT be fooled…
One more thing…if you can account for any/some money that he spent on drugs while you were married, that can be accounted for in Equitable Distribution…money spent on non-marital purposes is not something that you have to split the value of…so in my case, I could account for approximately $13,000 that my ex spent on drugs/strip clubs/etc, and the judge awarded him that $13K and then I got $13K of other assets…which otherwise would have been split and I would have only gotten 6500 of…so start doing some investigating now if you can!
I hope this helps!!!
again, not an attorney, just another mother who got the hell out of a really bad situation