I wish you luck. My ex admitted to me he was using pills. Since this was the third time he’s “confessed” in ten years, I had had enough. I will share my knowlege with you. First off, get all financial items out of your name that you can. Are you going to try and keep the house? Is there enough equity to justify the fight? Personally I wanted out more than I wanted anything from him. You need to plan what you’re going to do. Have a place to go. Have a income you can live on (do NOT depend on him). Eventually you should get child support, but be prepared anyway. As far as child custody, when you present the seperation agreement, have it written in that you have sole physical and legal custody. Unless he is directly putting the child at risk or you can prove he is huring your son, you probably won’t get supervised visitation. You can try and slip that into the seperation agreement, but chances are, if he wants to the contact with your child, he won’t sign and you may then have to fight him for custody period. Be prepared for being called all kinds of names and emotional blackmail. Put you child’s needs infront of yours and that will reflect in court. Document any abuse (emotional verbal physical) toward yourself and/or our child. how old is your child? Be truthful (without judgement of the father’s activities) to a child who is old enough to understand. I made the mistake in thinking a 9yo didn’t need to know the details… it bit me in the behind two years later when his daddy was locked up. In my case, my son has visitation with his fater. My ex rarely actually pays child support. I have pulled visitation a few times because the environment at my ex’s house was unhealthy (nasty dirty). I am allowed to do that because I have sole custody with “reasonable” visitation. reasonable to most is every other weekend . I have no problem with my son going every weekend, because I know what it’s like to be without a father at all, I would never put my son through that. My ex did not contest the divorce or custody. He knew if he did the first thing I’d do is have him take a drug test, besides he is too irresonsible to be a primary parent. I do talk to my son about his familial propencity to substance abuse. I keep my eyes open and talk to his friends / teachers. He knows I do and doesn’t try to get away with stuff. he is only 13 and I have a ways to go, but I am ready. Only you know what will work best for you. Do you think your stbx will fight for custody? My biggest scar is from my credit rating dropping like a rock (my ex decided not to comply with the seperation agreement and stopped paying the house note and a joint credit card he was responsible for.) Be prepared.
I am planning on seperating from my husband for emtional abuse in the near future. It has recently come to my attention that he may be using drugs. What kind of proof can I gather to help me in the divorce to prove this? We also have a child and I want to make sure that I get full custody and he only received supervised vistation.