Child custody

Dear Cassy:

Greetings. He definitely has some decision making problems and judgement call issues. I would not sign the agreement if you are not comfortable with it and yes, I would argue a shorter period of time to agree not to move. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

My husband and I have been separated for 6 months and I plan to file for divorce after the one year mark. We have two children living with me primarily in the home and he has them at his apartment every other weekend and Wednesdays. We are both comfortable with this arrangement however; he wants me to sign an agreement that I cannot move out of state with the boys until the youngest boy, who is 5, goes to college. I cannot agree to this since my career may at some point take me out of state as I am in the financial services industry. I make about 3 times what my husband makes and provide the majority of support for the children. The NC child support calculator requires him to pay me less than $250 per month in child support. I plan to buy our house so I am demonstrating that have no plans at this time to leave the state. I cannot commit myself to NC for the next 14 years if I want to advance my career and provide for our children.

I believe he has demonstrated that he cannot be given primary custody of the children if I do choose to move out of state. The main reason we are divorcing is because he was taking nude photos of me without my knowledge or consent and posting them on porn websites. In the following 5 months after this discovery, while we were in marital counseling to explore what happened, spent several thousand dollars in one night on a prostitute and drugs. He also threatened to commit suicide during this time period in which I had to physically intervene to stop him. I recently found his browser open to a porn site while dropping off our son with him for a scheduled visit. (I had a very serious talk with him about this! He maintained it was open from the night before but he forgot to log off and that it would never happen again.)

My question is: Do I have enough leverage to insist that I be given complete decision making authority over the children including keeping primary custody even if I choose to move out of state for job reasons? Please note: I have no intention of keeping him away from our kids or reducing his visits because he is a loving Father to his children and they enjoy spending time with him. He just cannot be counted on to be consistently emotionally stable enough to be the primary caregiver and decision maker. What is your opinion of this situation and what are my chances of negotiating in the divorce full rights to move with the children if I eventually choose to do so?