Child support can be re-evalutated every three years or with a 15% change of lifestyle and income.
Visitations will not be addressed during a hearing regarding support. They are separate issues. You will have to file for custody modification if you want to address visitation issues…
Since you have been divorced for this length of time, it sounds as though your children were either very young when you divorced or they are about to age out of the child support system. I hope you have finacial records of child support and the extras…
This is just my opinion, but it sounds to me as though your children have either began asking questions about what happened and your ex has determined that once the children are 18 and you stop child support she will not have the extra non-taxable income she is used to having. The more the children stay with her, the more overnights she has, the more child support you are likely to pay. Keep records of everything.
Have you run the calculator to see what the guidelines show you should be paying now? Surely she is not making the same that she made 10 years ago and child support is based on both incomes, number of overnights with each parent, insurance and child care costs.
The first thing that I would tell you is that your children have been with you 3 days a week for the last 10 years and should know whether or not the stuff their mother is saying is true. If they are confronting you with things, the best solution is to address each issue as it comes up. If she’s saying you don’t pay child support, show them the canceled checks. If she’s telling them that you did or didn’t do something ask them if they think you would do that. You can be honest with your children without stooping to talking badly about her. You also can tell them that they are not old enough for you discuss this stuff with. (Depending on their ages). Tell them you love them and are there for them and you will discuss it when they are older. Until then, it’s not their concern. Re-enforce that you are there for them and do not mind discussing some issues with them but that some stuff is off limits.
I will never understand why either parent thinks it’s alright to alienate a child from the other parent…The child is the one that is hurt.
The second thing I would tell you is that you do not need to take all of this personal. Tell your daughter that regardless of what her mother has told her she has no right to disrespect you. Teenagers (if they are teenagers) are very dramatic and the “you ruined my life” or “you did this to us” is not a realistic attitude. It does hurt and it does make you want to defend yourself against things that are said but it is not permanent. My suggestion is that you tell the children that they need to go back to their orginal visitation days and that you and their mother will work this all out.
On the slander, unless things that she has said have maliciously done you harm (lost your job, had to leave your church…) there is little that can be done. All ex’s talk badly about each other but the people that know you will know the truth of the matter. It sounds like the children and others are beginning to judge her and she needs to make herself look and feel better about the type of person she is…
I would assume that a judge would grant a continuance since you will be out of the country. That may have been planned that way from the beginning if the trip was known about so that you would not be in attendence and would look badly to the court. Find out before you leave if the date is changed and push for the date to be confirmed before you leave.