This topic seems to be generating a lot of questions and concerns. I thought I would add some additional NC law for consideration. Case law provides that the trial court has the discretion to determine what expenses constitute extraordinary expenses, the amount of these expenses, and with the exception of payments for professional counseling or psychiatric therapy which must be apportioned in the same manner as the basic child support obligation, how the expenses are to be apportioned between parties. See Mackins v. Mackins, 114 N.C.App. 538 (at 549), (1994).
The guidelines recognize that the court may need to make adjustments for extraordinary expenses without deviation from the guidelines. Extraordinary expenses include, medical, uninsured medical, orthodontia, dental, psychiatric therapy, professional counseling for mental health problems. The guidelines apportion payments for these expenses in the same manner as the basic support obligation. (AOC-A-162, Rev. 10/98 & Mackins above. The guidelines recognize that the court may add other extraordinary expenses to the basic support obligation, including tuition at a special school to meet the child’s needs and expenses for traveling between the homes of the parents. The listing of extraordinary expenses contained in the guidelines is not exclusive, and the determination of what constitutes an extraordinary expense rests with the discretion of the trial court. Under appropriate circumstances, the court may add expenses for a learning center and summer camp to the basic support obligation as extraordinary expenses. See Mackins.
Finally, a court may vary from the guidelines if the application would not meet or would exceed the reasonable needs of the child or would be otherwise unjust or inappropriate. Ultimately, each case is very factually dependant. Just wanted to ease some of the back and forth arguments about support. Hope this is helpful.
Deborah M. Throm
Rosen Law Firm
1829 E. Franklin Street, Bldg. 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.265.0017 direct
919.321.0780 main voice www.rosen.com
Email: dthrom@rosen.com
4101 Lake Boone Trail
Suite 500
Raleigh, NC 27607
919.256.1544 direct
919.787.6668 main voice
Perhaps my situation will make all the “other women” feel better. Ex spouse’s income is 5 times mine. Judge allowed him to retain control of the childrens’ trust funds and as long as he uses the money for the benefit of the children, there is nothing I can do about it. In other words, he has large sums of money available as his “child support”. I am receiving 200 above the chart for combined income of 240,000. His income far exceeds that amount. Another thing that may make all the other women happy is that I have also been ordered to pay 50% of all extracurricular activities and 50% of all uninsured medical bills. Ex is a physician and receives all uninsured medical payments back from his office. He had an affair, caused the breakdown of the marriage, and I am not walking around like a fashion model. I have had to return to work after 20 years out of the workforce. After taxes, I receive 2600 a month from him—and that includes child support. I’m a school teacher so you can figure out how much I’m bringing home a month. I hope this makes those other women, who think they are suffering, quite happy.
Yes, you are bringing home a heck of a lot more than I am (a fellow teacher) and more than most people in the country. I’m sure it seems paltry according to the standards that you are used to as a doctor’s wife, but just remember, you are STILL making a lot more money than most of us. Sorry, but I can’t feel your pain.
I know a dad that gets Child Support and it is my husbadn. We have had his children for the past 9 years. There Mother left them with us and just disappeared. They have probbly seen her 4 times in 9 years. But believe me the child support is no way to the what the expense of these children cost. There is no way you can raise 2 boys on 175.00 a month. But $ 175.00 is better than Zero!!
xmedwife, you don’t say how many children you have. The Guidelines-based support for two children where the parents have a combined monthly income of $20,000 (equivalent to $240K/yr) is $1990/mo. You say you’re receiving $200/mo above this amount, or at least $2190/mo. Surely your children will not lack for anything at this level of support. Remember, this money is supposed to be expended solely for the benefit of your children, not for your benefit.
I’m sorry your husband cheated on you and ruined your marriage. Nevertheless, both you and your ex must financially support your children based upon your ability to do so. So you have to (go back to) work to support your children? My sympathy for you is zero. Welcome to the real world.
Seems I may have ticked some people off as some think that I have all that I need—more than most–money to be solely expended on the child and I wish that were the case. I’m 50 years old. I have only a few years teaching experience so I am not making what someone my age should be making if she had not stayed home and raised her family. I do not regret taking care of my children nor am I complaining about having to support them. At age 50, I have to start my career from the bottom whereas if I’d stayed in the profession, I could have already retired and will reach full retirement age in two years, but that will not happen now. So, I guess I’m in the “real world” where it doesn’t matter what you sacrificed—that the marriage counted for nothing—that because I was placed on a restricted budget during the marriage and not allowed to spend anything, I have to continue in that same mode. Don’t talk to me about assets because what I am supposed to get has been eaten up by atrocious attorney fees because he refused to settle and has taken me to court time and time and time again over stupid stuff—simply because he can and because he has the money to do it. I’m virtually wiped out. When the separation occurred, I had 4900 to my name as he had cleaned out and taken everything. So, I picked myself up from all the damage, substitute taught until I could find a position. And now with the “judgment” I get the same amount I always got from him but this time around, it includes my salary. He makes MORE than 240,000 a year and I got the same amount as he allowed me during the marriage and he gets the rest. Mine is l8% of his salary and that’s for me and my child. He can use the interest off the trust funds and have more than I do per month for the “benefit of the children”. I’m not going to post here anymore because this is just as misogynistic as the Court System!
I think that you have realized that there are many bitter angry people out there (wakeDad) that think that if you are the custodial parent, you should be awarded only the minimum amount of money to support your children. You should feed them PBJ’s every day to save money, (the school lunch is $3.00 a day, way to much by some people
You know, I put off reading this posting because it was so long, but I finally stopped halfway through and read Frustrated Fiancee. You completely mirrored my situation with your words, except I do get to see my children as often as I want because I provide their daycare every day of the week–even though my support order makes me pay $217 a month for–?–daycare. My ex expressly refused to refund it, so I’m filing a motion (I’ve also since had a little girl). I AM one of those fathers who is living right there on the edge of total bankruptcy because I thought, if I give my ex everything she wants, then she won’t make things difficult and my kids won’t see mommy and daddy as angry at each other, like I saw growing up. Dumb ■■■ man I am. She took all of it, and still wants more. And YES, FF, she is alone–because she has no idea how to treat a man. If a man does virtually 100% of the cleaning, cooking and lawncare, plus holds a full-time job and watches the kids, is a thank you too much? Is SEX too much? Some women think they can just take a man for granted, cut him off, treat him like crap, and he’ll stick around. Those women end up 40 or 50, alone and bitter as hell. I might be broke, but at least I’m free. Thank you SO MUCH, FF, for giving me a smile.
This is a long post but I must reply to Sandy, This system is truly against the fathers,yes there are some dead beat dads out there but not all of us are, actually I think these days most dads want to do the right thing for their kids but the mothers want to make life misserable for us and it has nothing to do with the kids. NC Law needs to have a mandatory class for divorcing people on how to let go and move on with their lives.Lets talk about the money, will it ever be enough, you want us to pay or everything including your personal expenses. is that fair. Men today will probably , willingly pay for every expense that is needed for their kids but the problem is that you don’t want us to physically pay for it you wnt us to give you the money so the kids will think mommy pays for everything, I wish the Law would read that child support will be monitored every 6 months and whoever is recieving support will produce reciepts for all purchases that has to do with the child and it should. Most women are just hurt because men can move on quicker. I agree it takes alot to raise a child, but it take a lot more to raise a hurt,angry and bitter woman. so the question is who are we really raising
I keep on telling myself I must stop!!1 But I get such a kick out of some of these responses on this topic …
Since we now want the custodial parent (male or female) to produce the receipts of all the money spent, We will need to hire a new government beuracrocy to audit these receipts. Who will pay for these new positions? Why don’t we just charge a percentage to all people paying/receiving child support … Obviously this proof system will never work, Who do you think is going to review the receipts? Stupid idea.
I have another idea, why don’t we start paying less child support in the months that are not 30 days and more for the months that are 31 days. I think the payee of the support should get a refund for the month of February!
I am just like everyone else out there stuck in the system. Its not perfect, but you have to make it work. Why should the system be made worse than what it is because some people don’t care if the best interest of the child isn’t being taken into consideration.
Your sarcasm is appreciated but I think you’re being callous toward those of us who do our parental part. Here’s a good example of the system being unfair. I pay over $1000 a month or child support, and I do so without complaining. Moreover, I provide daycare for my kids every day of the week, though I still pay for it. I was able to do this by closing one of my businesses; I work at night. My kids need me. Well, this has put me in a tight financial situation. So, when I look for a new place to live, I’m not allowed to claim the child support I pay as consideration for subsidized housing–and my ex doesn’t need to claim the support so she can keep HER numbers down and qualify for whatever she wants. If I am doing all of this–and a lot of non-custodial parents are too–why are we penalized? I don’t want preferential treatment, I want equal treatment under the law.
I actually have my kid and she has visitation right but because I make double the money I still have to pay her child support, HMMM now is that fair, oh I forgot she left the house. I guess thing will change if men started doing the simpathy plea.
I agree with you, the system isn’t fair. I do understand your point. You are the better person for being there for your kids, and in the long run the only one that will benefit from your decisions today will be your kids. One day these kids will turn 18 and the ex will no longer get the option of abusing the child support payments. He/She will then be the one who suffers both financially and emotionally because the kids will see the truth.
Child support is for the kids, I believe that most people do the right thing for their kids. I commend EVERYONE that makes sacrifices in order to pay the child support and EVERYONE that sacrifices to make a better world for their kids instead of making them the innocent victims of a divorce.
I am a teacher (new teacher) who makes less than 30,000 per year. He makes over 60000. I have the kids every afternoon, all day in the summers and every other weekend. I pay him child support and after my mortgage live on 300.00 per month to clothe, feed and entertain the kids and myself.(he refuses to provide anything for the kids during my time). Just because they spend the night at his house, he gets credit for the day. Why don’t I have them at night? I worked nights so the kids would stay out of daycare and when we divorced I thought it would be better to have them with their dad at night…boy, did that come back to bite me!
I struggle to make ends meet and it is impossible to keep the kids living at a standard they have been use to. I thought child support was suppose to make both homes “equal”. The kids do not understand why I have to say “No”. It kills me.
No tax credits, no deductions for me and tax free money for him. Where do I sign up to change NC’s Law?
Justpretty - I think it’s time for you to go back to DSS and get your child support situation re-evaluated. This won’t cost you anything to ask them about. Can you talk to a lawyer about the custody situation?
Big time–I’m doing the same thing–motion to change the support order based on significant change. I pay daycare but also work at night so I can watch my kids all day every day, and that’s not right.
The child support system is badly broken. Not just in NC, but nationwide. Inequities abound; rare is the case in which a “just and proper” amount of child support is set.
Justprettynpink points out one fatally flawed premise of the system. On paper, it certainly is laudable to attempt to “make both homes equal.” I fail to see how it is even possible for the homes to remain equal, when the same total amount of income is now required to support two homes instead of one. One home suffers, and in all but very high income cases, it’s usually the home of the non-custodial parent.
Most reasonable people would agree, I think, that ideally the child’s standard of living should not decrease very much as a result of the parents’ divorce. Is this a realistic goal? Hmmmmmmm…given the financial realities described above, I propose that the burden of child support needs to be more equitably split between the parents. The basis of this inequity is that at combined incomes of mid-30s and higher, the Guidelines-based awards begin to exceed the child’s reasonable needs. I’m much in favor of shifting to a “reasonable expense”-based approach to child support determination, rather than the present income-based approach.
It is my understanding that CS, along with the Custodial Parent’s income is to be used for the children’s basic needs (Food, shelter, clothing, etc) for the time that they are with that parent. In other words if the custody is shared 60/40, then the parent that has the children for 60 percent of the time should be providing for 60 percent of their needs (60% of clothes, 60% of food, etc). Is this correct? Also, what about the “extras”(extracurricular acivities, camps, girl scouts, field trip fees, etc)? I’ve seen some responses to posts that state that it should also include all the field trip fees, activity fees, etc. Or should the custodial parent be paying 60% of this and 40% the non-custodial? Or should thee “extra” stuff be split at 50/50 or 60/40 or 100% from the Child Support?