Child Support

My husband and I are seperated. He currently gives me money for our kids, 2 are under 18, 2 are over. He continues to tell me that if we divorce, or file for seperation the court will give me way less then he currently gives me. When i have check the online calculators, he is right. My question is, does the court expect the child support to cover the cost of housing, upkeep of the house, utilities, food, clothes, car insurance, medical insurance, and everyday needs of my kids. I work and even with the money he gives me, I still have it very hard to survive, since I am now left will all the expenses and less money. Don’t know if it matters, but i came home from work to a note on the table and all his belongings gone, i never seen that coming!

I also have some pretty good evidence (well, what I think is good) that he may have left for another woman. Can I file an alientation of affection suit against some one in another state. When he left, he left the state, and has now come back, but she has also been here at least 2 times that I know of.

Thank You!

You might have a claim for A of A, but that claim is the most expensive litigation you can pursue in family law. You would have to pay tens of thousands of dollars for the costs of litigatoin. The paramour may not even have any money to pay a judgment, so even if you won if would be a victory on principle only (and you’d be out all of that money). That’s why A of A lawsuits are pretty rare.

Yes, child support is supposed to include reasonable expenses for the children’s living, including their portion of room and board. I don’t know if you are a dependent spouse or not, but if you are, then you could have a claim for alimony. Otherwise, child support is your only option. Most divorces result in a lower standard of living for both parties.

Thank You for the Info.

But now this woman is sending me harassing text messages. She has also blocked my number from calling my husband. I don’t know where he is staying, and have no way to contact him if there is an emergency with our kids or anything. Do I have any legal leg to stand on here. I can’t believe she could do this.

I am not a lawyer. But, I’ve been through this.

There are two sources of money for you from your ex.

First, there is Child Support. You have already calculated that according to the NC Guidelines, I assume.

But, there is also alimony, both temporary (Post-Separation Support) and permanent alimony.
Under NC Law, if a supporting spouse (makes most of the money) cheats, the dependent spouse is by law entitled to alimony. But, the alimony may not be much. It is up to the judge.

If your ex is cheating, and you want that to influence alimony, you need to prove opportunity and inclination.
Opportunity = they’re living together, photos of them in a motel, etc.
Intent = whatever evidence you have that they are having sex. If you have text messages or emails they are good.

You should talk to a lawyer about your chances for getting alimony.

Forget AoA. It is too hard. But it is a good threat. And, what you need to prove AoA is what you would need to establish your right to alimony.

Yes, quixote is right that you should seek child support and alimony. You can only seek alimony and post-separation support if you are the dependent spouse. Cheating alone isn’t enough. The amount of alimony you would be awarded would not be affected by his cheating. The amount you would receive is dependent upon his ability to pay. You would need to analyze both of your income and expenses, to see what the difference is between your two households. You can then seek half of that difference, which may or may not be much. A of A can be something that you can use to negotiate with your husband over if you feel it’s necessary, but it’s unlikely to be financially worth the risk for you to actually litigate it.