Child support


#1

There is no real accurate way to formulate what the price/cost of ‘raising a child’ is. The state has to come up with some across the board formulation that works for everyone. You said you got a deviation of 200 over the State suggestion and you get alimony.

It is unreasonable to think that you will absolutely maintain your standard of living after a divorce. There has to be some modifications. I understand that he makes 3x your income. His new life will always be more extravagant than yours unless you can match his salary. That is just the way it is. It works the other way too-the wife can make more money.

In reading your posts, I am trying hard to see why a judge would mandate things you say he’s mandating unless it is in some agreement you signed (like the 50/50 split expenses). He would only be enforcing the papers. I don’t know if there is a way to try for a modification of papers with your ‘change of circumstance’ being the past months of 50/50 splitting that has run you into financial trouble.

For him to purposely do this is really mean, in my opinion. If he knows your salary and he’s over-extending your ability to pay, then it’s really not a nice thing for him to do.


#2

Why do you have to pay 50% of everything extra? Is this written into your custody agreement? If you are paying 50% you should be entitled to agree on the “extras”.


#3

If him paying child support is actually costing you money, because it’s making him vindictively put the child in activities so you basically forfeit your child support, then just stop the child support!
You don’t need it from him, especially since he’s recouping it in extracurricular fees. How much do you wanna bet that he slowly fades away once his financial obligation ends? Sure, you might lose a few bucks each month, but you won’t be paying court fees every other month and you’ll have the peace of mind, knowing that the expenses you deal with are the ones you know about, with no “suprise attacks” from the Suddenly SuperDad.
I didn’t ask for child support from my ex and it was the best decision of my life, and my kid’s lives. He would have done everything in my power to make my life hell if I had asked for it, and the kids would have had to spend time with him. Without him paying, he didn’t feel so “obligated” to be a part of their life and instead went about his alcohol addiction, frequent rages and depressions, and homelessness on his own, without exacting the emotional toll on me OR the kids.


#4

I need the child support. Like I said, the alimony is so low that I truly cannot survive without the child support! The Court made these horrible rulings. I agreed to nothing! I tried to get the percentage reduced based on the huge disparity of income, but the Court turned around and made me pay him for past due expenses, but ignored my expenses completely! I can’t recoup anything from him! I have to pay 50%, but apparently he does not have to pay me. The Court made me pay for things that I had absolutely nothing to do with and things that did not even occur on my custodial time! This man, this ex of mine, includes every possible expense imaginable. I have to pay half of ANYTHING that can even remotely be related to an extracurricular activity! 6.00 for brownies for a Boy Scout fundraiser…3.50 for a merit badge booklet…tennis shoes…tennis tournaments my ex signs my child up for on his own custodial time…50% of pictures that I never receive…it’s written in the ORDER! Half of his hotel bill he incurred when he went on field trip with the school…something he never did during the marriage…half of HIS hotel bill! He’s being “super dad” because I have to pay half of his bills! Doesn’t matter. The Court is going to take my child away from me anyway. They have taken everything else and I know that is next! The Court is making sure that Daddy Big Bucks has everything! And that is the truth!


#5

So, the child support that the lower income parent receives, is the higher income’s parent’s share of the total cost needed to raise a child? In other words, the higher income parent is in essence paying the lower income parent what it takes to raise that child? That makes no sense. My income is less than 1/3 of the ex’s income with child support. The Order allowed me the child support so that I could “maintain my standard of living” which is a joke. I have to pay 50% of anything at all extra. All I am doing is giving the child support back to my ex at this point. Because he can afford financially outrageous things, he is making life difficult for me because he knows he only has to pay half. The truth of the matter is that I am having a hard time paying living expenses WITH the child support! In my case, there isn’t much need for me to even receive child support. Everybody in my case gets to live the high life except for me…I can’t maintain the same lifestyle as my ex can. It’s just not possible. Instead of me being able to afford a small vacation for myself and my son, I have to pay for some expensive camp that ex signed my child up for. I haven’t been anywhere in over two years because I have to foot half of the bill for my child to live the life of wealth…when I don’t have the capacity for this kind of life. And forget the Court helping me. It’s not going to happen with an over 25,000 per month income disparity! I got 200.00 per month over the basic guideline amount for the “extras” and 200.00 isn’t footing the expenses that my ex is racking up. It’s taking almost half of my child support amount going right back to the ex which leaves me with not a whole lot as the alimony I receive is LESS than the child support!