Child Support


#1

So he decided unilaterally that he can’t “do the joint physical custody” arrangement? If it was court ordered he can’t do that. If he refuses he’s in contempt of court. After three years you will automatically have your finances reviewed, at which point the support amount may change. FYI, temporary orders are often converted into permanent orders–but this is a JUDGE’S decision, not your ex-husband’s.


#2

The temporary agreement was signed by both of us after mediation, but the judge refused to sign a temporary agreement, saying he thought it was great we we’re trying to work together, but he doesn’t sign anything that’s temporary.

I know that they review the child support every three years, but we’ve only had a support order in effect for less than a year, so it would be a while before it would be reviewed. The three years we were separated, I voluntarily paid child support w/o an order.


#3

The temporary agreement was signed by both of us after mediation, but the judge refused to sign a temporary agreement, saying he thought it was great we we’re trying to work together, but he doesn’t sign anything that’s temporary.

I know that they review the child support every three years, but we’ve only had a support order in effect for less than a year, so it would be a while before it would be reviewed. The three years we were separated, I voluntarily paid child support w/o an order.


#4

I don’t understand. If you are divorced, why isn’t there a permanent order in place? What is the judge waiting for???


#5

The first order we signed was when we got divorced and I agreed to secondary custody of the kids. I didn’t wan’t to, but at the time they were attending school over an hour away and there was no way we could split time with them during the week and I knew we’d have to go to court if I asked for primary custody. This year, he has moved to a new school district that is only 40 minutes away and is in the town that I work, which is manageable. That is why we tried to modify the agreement, although I could only get him to go with the temporary agreement because he had to “see how things went”. Since, he has changed his mind, it reverts back to the last agreement the judge signed which was the first agreement giving him primary custody. My first mistake was to do everything without a lawyer and I’m afraid I’ve totally screwed things up.


#6

Well, maybe not. First you have to be able to prove that the kids come first. You can file a motion to modify a custody order but they are difficult; moreover you might be convincing the judge that you two can’t work ANYTHING out, and joint physical could go out the door. But yes, you are right, an attorney would probably have helped in your case, so don’t make the same mistake twice.


#7

If you quit your job you will still have to pay the child support unless you get removed from your employment based on things you cannot control.


#8

Isn’t there some sort of rule about if I’m staying home taking care of my own child under three years of age, they can’t use my last income amount to figure the child support?


#9

From what I understand, you don’t even HAVE to work before the age of 3. Call your DSS office and ask them to be sure, it’s free.


#10

It’s really helped reading everyone else’s posts, but I haven’t found the answer to what I really need to know. First, as background info, my ex and I divorced last year after being separated for almost three years and he has custody of our two children. When we first split up, I couldn’t take the children with me and now we live about an hour apart although we work in the same town. I have repeatedly aked if he would be willing to work out another custody arrangement as it’s hard just seeing my kids every other weekend. We even had a temporary custody agreement (to see how things went) giving us joint physical custody of the kids (which was a lot harder on me as far as getting them to and from school), but things went really well and the kids and I both liked it. However, when we went back to finalize the agreement, the ex told me “It just wasn’t working for him” and we now have to go back to the original agreement. I believe his decision had something to do with the fact he would have lost the child support check he receives every month. My question is, I have remarried and my current husband and I are having a baby in February. I’ve thought a lot about quitting my job and staying home with the baby, but I don’t know how this will affect our child support agreement since I’ll no longer have any income. We can’t afford to lose my income and have to pay child support out of my husband’s income.
Please understand that I’m not trying to get out of supporting my children, but I would like to do it while they’re under my roof and I’m hoping he’ll come around to the joint custody agreement. Unfortunately I found out too late that it doesn’t pay to be nice and try to get along during a divorce. All I’ve done is hurt myself by trying to make things easier on everyone else. Any advice would be helpful. If this doesn’t work we will have to go see a laywer.