Cohabitation


#1

Our order states…no cohabitation. My ex has his girlfriend overnight every night that he doesn’t have the children. He doesn’t have them but 1 day/night during the week and E/O weekend. These days she is not there. She is not allowed to be near my children due to legal issues and a felony charge against my ex(which she has forgiven him for). What guidelines do I need to prove cohabitation? She claims she lives with her mother, when she is rarely there.


#2

What EXACTLY does it say in the order? I would quote the clause completely so it can be interpreted properly by the attorney.

She isn’t around your children if she’s not spending the night when they are there, I really don’t see what the issue is.


#3

I can understand wanting to take action if the kids were present. If you have proof that she is cohabitating when the kids are present, then yes, you could probably file suit.

However, if she isn’t around the kids and the divorce is final, you’d probably have to prove that she’s not paying rent or a mortgage anywhere else, plus supply physical proof that his address is her main address.

But what is really the issue? If she’s not cohabitating when the kids are present, most likely the courts won’t take action since it will appear as though you are trying to control someone you are no longer married to for the sole reason of needing to control them.


#4

I am simply trying to find out information without judgement. I have very good reasons for wanting to find this out…preferably without having to tell every detail…but here is some of my reasoning. He is charged with felonious injury to the girlfriend(whom has forgiven him). Rhianna and Chris Brown have nothing on what happened here. Therefore, the judge ordered her not to be around our kids. Then the judge ordered him to not have alcohol in his presence, purchase or drink alcohol of any kind. He did anyway. Proven…judge has given him a second chance. Then, the order states no cohabitation. I am simply trying to keep my children away from a very volitale situation and couple. If he marries her, my children will suffer having to be near the two of them. I am reaching for whatever I can to make sure what is best is being done for my children. Therefore, if I can prove one more thing that he has done against a judges order, it will be one more thing in my favor. The bottom line is to protect my children and show this man does not care about any court orders.


#5

By forcing the no cohabitation period issue, do you realize that you will make it more probable for him to marry her at some point if he wishes to have a life undivided?

My BFs ex nearly did the same herself. Funny because neither he nor I am ready to get married again, but she very nearly forced the issue by her need to control the situation. Luckily, she had nothing against either of us that she could use to prevent us from associating or me being around the kids. We could demonstrate that we provided the more stable environment than she did and neither one of us had a history of physical violence.


#6

I understand your feelings and what you are saying but just telling us it says “no cohabitation” without siting the whole clause isn’t enough information. For instance, my papers say “no overnights with the opposite sex”. You would interpret that to be just that “no overnights” however, when you read the clause in it’s entirety, you realize that the meaning is completely changed. “no overnights with the opposite sex in which the children have not become accustomed to”. The meaning is changed completely by what is after it.

If you have a clause in your agreement AND it is not VERY clear in it’s meaning, then he will not be held in contempt. Sometimes things are open for interpretation. Not because it was purposefully written for loopholes, but they happen and his attorney can argue that point. THat is why I asked you for the wording, so that you can get a real attorney response based on the fact of the clause and how it is written.

No one is judging you or your reasons. What is being said is the way that things will often be seen in court. Perception is everything.


#7

While I did not have the legal problems that your ex and the girlfriend have had, I was in the same position. I never stayed overnight while my, now husband’s, children were over and that was even after their divorce. That was something that we decided on to show the children that there was an order to things and what we believed was the right way.
His ex tried every way possible to have it brought up in court that I stayed overnight with him, but the point was, I never stayed when the children were there. At the time, I was living with my parents, though I rarely did much more than go there to sleep on the nights that his children were with him.
If you are divorced and this is the custody order that states no cohabitation then there is little that you can do if the situation is how you describe. If her mail is being sent to a different address and she does not stay when the children are there, you can not prove that cohabitation is occuring. And since it is not illegal for a divorced man to have overnight guests, I see little chance of there being anything that can be brought to a custody hearing.


#8

The judge cannot order your ex not to live with this woman, he or she can only order that she not be present when the children are there. If she is living in the home and stays elsewhere during his visitation with the children there is nothing your or the judge can do.


#9

thanks for all your help. It wasn’t very clear to me and now it is. Thanks again