I’m a negotatior so I have no issue taking things out of the agreement. College is actually a small amount a month, basically the support he was giving to me, would go to the child to supplement their expenses. So when the age out, and support is adjusted down, his support would stay the same essentially, just be re-directed for school. We did our agreement mutually, no one twisted his arm to get it in there, he just did. We moved from up North where it is commonplace to have it in an agreement. In his talking to his friends, he realizes now that the state couldn’t mandate any of it. If he can get out of paying for something, he will. He’s counting down the days til the oldest turns 18 (I know this, he has made mention of it several times). When our middle child was having issues with her school work and in danger of failing, his answer to my request for help on that matter was, “your problem!” You know how I got him to help me make sure homework was done and complete on his days??? Reminded him that if she were to fail, she wouldn’t graduate high school until 19. Giving him one extra year of child support. Then and only then, did it become a priority for him.
I think college IS a necessity. He thinks it is as well as long as he doesn’t have to spend a dime on it. Yes kids should have to work for it. I have never not made my children work for something. I do think that you should help them out though if you are capable.
As for the life insurance, I am more than willing to take over the payment of that insurance policy until my youngest child reaches 18 but since he thinks he can have it taken out of the agreement now, he just wants it gone. “you’ll never see a dime of that money!” It’s not for me, it’s for the children and is enough to send all of them to college.
I’m not greedy. I’ve picked up his slack for years. Every six months his manic mind wants changes to our agreement. Every six months I give him pretty much whatever he wants because I refuse to fight with him, however I won’t be walked over either.