Dear Daisy27:

Greetings. If you forgave him and he started the affair again, then in your answer to his counterclaim you need to raise the affirmative defense of recrimination. Adultery that is revived by doing it after the condonation has occurred can be used to bolster your alimony claim.

Remember though that for a dependent spouse to obtain alimony they need to prove dependency, not cheating. Cheating only helps the claim, but is not the basis for it. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

I have been a stay at home mom. I have children at home and in college. His affair produced a child that I knew nothing about. While the affair was going on I worked part time just for spending money. He makes 80,000 more per year than I do. During the hearing for PSP I was declared the dependent spouse. So will the fact that he resumed the affair, had a child and then abandoned his family mean more alimony than just alimony based on dependency? He feels like I should just walk away with nothing eventhough we have been married 30 years.

I just read the post that said condonation could not be used as a reason for not paying alimony. My husband had an affair and has admitted it in court but in the alimony portion his defense is condonation. He says I forgave him so his attorney advised him that adultery will not be a factor in the alimony hearing. I forgave him but he started the affair again. His income is several times that of mine. Will adultery make a difference in the amount of alimony and will the fact that he says I forgave him make a difference