Contact Order from 2005

My friend has a issue with a custody order from 2005. She was award permanent custody back in 2005 in which the ex was to get phone visitation every Wed from 6-9pm and they must keep there address and phone numbers updated with each other. In 2005, her attorney had to track the ex down because he did not give any address for her to file divorce. she moved in 2005 but wasn’t able to locate him. So he just called his parents to get her address and phone number. Again in 2006 the CS agency had to track him down. Since 2006 he has not keep any form of the phone visitation or regular visitation. He has seen his child probably once a year and sometimes not at all. He has never given her a email, address but gave his phone number to the child.

Now this year she disconnected her home phone but still had her same address and cell phone. He is know trying to file contempt because she did not update him on a address or phone number. He clams that he hasn’t talked to the child in a year because he called and no one answered the phone for a YEAR! He never sent any letter or express a need for contact by mail or from his parents and sister. He sent his child a Christmas card last year (same address she has that he is saying she never updated him), his attorney sent her the paperwork to her current address as well. Now as far as the phone situation, she still had her cell phone number but he has never called it. His parents and sister have come to pick up the child and they call her on a regular basis.The child also has her own phone. They live in the same out of state city as their son. They call, text email and come to the child’s address. He claims he hasn’t seen the child since 2008 but she has lived at the same address from 2005-the end of 2010. Then she moved in Oct 2010, which she notified him because he sent the Christmas card in 2010. He claims he hasn’t spoken to the child in a year but her phone wasn’t disconnected until late August 2011

She filed for a child support modification in September to be hear in October. At that time Child support case worker told her that he was overseas which left her no contact information for him. The child call his house a few times with no answer.

She feels this is the reason he is filing contempt and modification of visitation is because of the child support modification because he has little to no involvement in the child’s life. His parents didn’t even have contact information for him. He claimed that his wife would be at the residence.

The only proof she has is the cell phone and email records of the contact with the parents and that 2 medical cards he sent were to the CS agency.
The Christmas card he sent to her address last year had no return address. But she no longer has the card. The records of the phone he was calling can not be recovered because the phone company only keeps them up to 30 days after disconnection.

My questions

All these years and the numerous times he had no contact with the child he didn’t provide his address or was involved with any part of the child’s live except maybe once a year, Will the judge take into consideration that he may be doing it because of the CS modification since it is in the same time frame? Have you heard of something like this?

What other evidence can be used? I am sure she will not ask his parents to testify against him as they already have a strained relationship since he is not involved with the child.

If he was never gave her any address or email to reach him while he was gone can he be held in contempt?

If she shows that his family members had constant contact, will that be proof that she should not be held in contempt?

He had her address since he sent a Christmas card and his attorney, how can that be proven since she no longer has that card since she never expected this?

I think she is worried that she may be held in contempt even though she has tried to keep him informed even though he doesn’t interact with the child and she has no clue where he lives. His family is very active but she never asked for his information from the parents because she assumed he didn’t want to be contacted. This has been over a period of 6 years.

She can argue to the judge that the reason this contempt is filed is because it’s retaliation for the CS modification. I would be wary of asking his parents to testify against him, even if they know you are right. They would likely make hostile witnesses because she is putting them in a difficult position. She can also file contempt against him as well since he has actually failed to provide you with an address for himself over the entire 6 years. If you both have cross-contempts on each other, you can try to negotiate with him to dismiss the one against her and she will dismiss hers also. It will give her some leverage. She can certainly testify about the constant contact the child has had with other members of his family who choose to be involved with her. She can also talk about the Christmas card, but it would be better if she still had it. If his attorney had her address to serve her, she can also show that he must actually know her address for that as well.