Dear newwife:

Greetings. Thank you…I am feeling much better and recovering well from my surgery.

Your husband needs to immediately respond that he is telling the children that they should spend time with mom. He should also tell her that he is willing to attend any type of family therapy that she will share the costs of (or pay for) to get the children back visiting her.

Yes, you may need to be clear that Mom’s time is every other week and the child “must” go, especially if mom demands the same. Now, on the other hand, if the child is 16, then the child’s desires will play a part. Specifically are you in contempt - not based on the language that I read herein (in my humble opinion). Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax


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Hi Janet. Hope you are well.

Joint custody order is worded “parents shall share joint legal and physical custody of the minor children and will alternate weeks with them from Sunday to Sunday; However, each parent will be respectful of the children’s activities and wishes and will allow flexibility as to where the children want to be so as it is in the best interest of the children.” I may have left out a word or two. The children in question are 18 (so no longer applies) and 16 1/2. They have both moved into our home, and will not go to their mother’s home. We both tell the kids, almost every day that they need to go home to see their mom, or call her. She calls them but has not really been to see them, except for mother’s day and their sister’s birthday. Both times she picked them up and brought them home a few hours later.

She sent my husband a letter and said that he is in contempt of the consent order and HE is “taking away her ability to parent the children”. IS he in contempt? Do we have to make his son go home if he doesn’t want to?

We don’t know why they don’t want to go home, but don’t think abuse or anything is involved. When we push it all we get is “I don’t like it there” and she is always yelling at them about something. Now thats not a big deal - all parents place demands on kids. Our house is not “paradise” (as she has put in the past, saying we don’t discipline). We may be a little more easygoing, but we discipline, set expectations and dole out responsibilities. We don’t hand the kids stuff and we expect them all to contribute to our household with chores. They don’t get allowance, and we have required they all get part-time jobs to contribute towards their wants and things like car insurance, transportation, clothing, etc…

Are we in the wrong here? We try to facilitate communication with their mother, and remind them to not cut ties that they will later regret. The whole thing is just really sad.

Sorry for the long post. Any advice is greatly appreciated.