Could this be signifigant in a custody change?


I would love to get custody of my 3 daughters, ages 8, 10, and 11. During the school year the reaide mostly with their dad, with me on breaks, every weekend, and during the summer. For nearly 2 years I’ve begged my ex to get their medicaid reinstated because they need psychological testing and need to go to regular doctor visits as well. My ex kept refusing to, so Ifound a caseworker who helped me get it in my name. Since them, 2 of my girls have been undergoing extensive psychological testing, Ifound out my oldest is being retained for a year in school, and they’ve all had eye exams, and my oldest needsed glasses, and Ihave gotten her 2 pairs of glasses myself. This morning all my girls went to the dentist after not being taken by their dad who is the primary parent for 2 years. My 8 yo has 5 cavities, needs 1 extraction, and teeth spacers, my 1p yo has 1o cavities, 1 extraction, and 1 crown. My 11 yo has 11 cavities, needs 3 extractions, and a possible crown, more xrays are needed to determine for sure. Plus, I am trying to get all of their immunizations up to date and everything else taken care of. Is any of this enough to ask for me to have primary custody of the girls, maybe based on medical neglect? Before Ihad the medicaid reinstated, Ihad to pay for all their medical bills out of pocket. My ex wants it so I’m the one who does all the doctor appts, pays for all fieldtrips, extracurricular activities, and attends all conferences, and iep meetings for the girls, yet he gets to remain the primary parent. I think it needs to be changed, do I have a decent argument?


Another thing is that my 2 daughters who are undergoing psychological testing have both been referred to TEACCH in Carrboro for more in depth testing. There was also a therapy plan drawn up to help them with social, cognitive and self help skills. The self help skills include being able to properly bathe themselves and wash and rinse out their own hair. As of right now it looks as though therapy will be twice a week on location. I’ve spoken with my ex, the primary parent about this and that they will need to go to therapy, he has said that he has a life and can’t just drop everything to take them and he will not do it. He also said if I want to take them and get them from school whatever, its on me not him. Its 30 miles one way from my house to their school, then an additional 20+ miles to TEACCH making it a 100+ mile round trip twice a week sometimes more. I can’t afford the gas to do it, and if my ex would work with me instead of refusing to help with therapy and doctor appointments it would be easier. He is determined that the girls should reside primarily with him. I believe they’d be better off with me primarily as Iam the main caretaker and the only one who has an active role in their school, extracurricular activities, and testing and treatment plans. Could this also perhaps affect a custody agreement or help me in filing for a custody modification to be able to get my girls the help they need?


Yes, I certainly believe that all of those issues may have a bearing on a hearing to modify custody. To proceed on a motion to modify, you have to show that there has been a substantial change in circumstances. Then you have to show that it would be in the best interests of the child to be with you.