Is he coming IN the house? Or just in the driveway and knocking on the door? After 6 years, I would think he’d just leave you alone. Do you have kids with him?
If he’s coming IN the house, then change the locks. If he’s knocking on the door, don’t answer. If he doesn’t leave, call the police. Tell them that there is a man at your door that will not leave the property.
He does not have the right to come and go as he pleases unannounced.
Thanks, I didn’t think that he did. A big issue is that he is in local law enforcement. If the front door is opened, he will walk right in. I don’t want to have a confrontation infront of the children, but I have made it clear that I will call the sheriff’s dept next time. Now it’s the phone. He will call and constantly initiate an arguement. He was over last night briefly and when I asked him politely to leave, he intiated an arguement. I was actually on the phone to a friend, so she heard the entire thing, so I would have someone else as a witness rather than just the kids. I had started towards forcing my independance and doing what I needed to be able to support the kids without his help (classes to better my ‘marketability’ and such). I had planned to file by now, however we are currently in the middle of some significant health issues with one of the children and honestly I have very little time or available nerves to deal with the divorce. I need to get through the next two weeks when we will have some answers and direction to the child’s health and then I will know what I can do. If the health issues will result in my inability to work outside of the home for awhile, then I will have to wait on the filing so that he will support the house in the manner that he is now.
Thanks for the advice!
You should post this on the attoney forum, but here’s what I know to be the case: Once a spouse has left the marital home and taken up residence elsewhere they no longer legally have access to the marital home.
You should let him know, in writing that you are changing the locks and that he is no longer allowed to be on the property without your permission or invitation. Have it sent certified mail and keep a copy. If he calls, hang up. Or let the children answer the phone. Don’t talk to him on the phone unless it has to do with the children. As soon as an argument begins, tell him that you are not going to argue and hang up. Do not let him pull you into an argument. If he shows up after you have given him this letter, then contact the police. Do NOT answer the door until they arrive. You can tell them that you are separated and that since he does not live there and you have asked him to leave, you would like them to remove him. If the children are there, the only thing I can tell you is that send them to their room until the mess is over. Talk to them. Explain what you can to them and leave it alone. Get a recorder on your telephone, if you can hide it from the children, so that you can record when he calls and instigates an arguement.
If you have been separated this long and you have allowed this behavior to continue, it may be difficult to change it now. But legally, it is your right to not have your ex so involved in your life, in your home or contacting you just to keep everything stirred up. Take control of your life.
I actually thought that I had originally posted this on the attorney forum, and didn’t realize until I was looking for it that I had posted it in the wrong place. I guess that is what stress will do to a person.
Thanks for your advice!
After a very long separtion, 6 years, although no divorce as of yet (working on it now), my ex tends to just show up from time to time with no request and sometimes even when I have told him to NOT come over. He left the home. From what I understand now, that he does not have the right to come and go as he pleases even with his name on the mortgage, that in doing this it would be considered criminal tresspassing. Does anyone know any specifics about this and have information that they can share with me?
Thanks!
L. Kelson