Custody and EQ Questions


If you have not been officially divorced then you can ask the court to address the issue of Equitable Distribution.

If you have been the primary caretaker of your son and there is no significant change in facts from the temporary custody trial and the permanent custody trial, then the court probably will not make a big change in the custodial schedule.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


Alot of questions… I am going through a rather difficult divorce. My estranged husband has been very emotional and difficult in the entire process. I did commit adultery. He told me if I confessed he would not call the police. I confessed, he called the police and had me escorted from our home (I had only been home 3 days after being overseas without my family for 12 months.) He then slammed the door in my face while holding my crying 3 yo son. The next day he had the locks changed and my clothing on the front porch in garbage bags and he his our son from me for a week. He called my entire family, all my friends and his entire family and told them what I did with some additional colorful language. Right now I have a Temp Custody Order making me the custodial parent. He is no longer allowed to see my 11 yo son (his step-son) because he was dragging him into the middle of the divorce and prying information about our life from him (based off of a recommendation from the school counselor becasue she felt he was being emotionally abusive to him.) My ex would call provoking fights, I would tell him I can’t continue this and goodbye and he would just keep calling back. Those days he would call me 2-12 times. He found out that I started dating an old friend a few months after the divorce and called threatening that he would find him if I did not have him call my ex. So he called my ex and my ex threatened him and told him to stay away from his son. From that time on I have told him the only way he can communicate with me is email or text and only call in the case of an emergency. Since then my ex has had an ad on with pictures of our son with him, he has been openly telling women he wants to have sex with them on MySpace and he has taken my 3 yo on a date with a woman (would not bother me if he had known her for a while, but it was their very first time meeting in person.) I allowed him to give gifts to my 11 yo for the holidays. When I was carrying the items in the house I watched him whisper something to my 11 yo. When he left my 11 yo said he told him that he bought a video game that I would not like. We opened it in the house and he had bought him Call of Duty 4… a completely inaapropriate game. This has been a long time arguement because while I was overseas he would buy rated “M” games for my then 10 yo son. I also found out when all this happened that he allowed my 11 yo to watch the movie “Zodiac” - yes as in the Zodiac Murderer. He doesn’t make decisions that are responsible as a parent. I have told him and my 11 yo there will be absolutely no more contact between the two of them. I am also worried he will continue with the same bad judgement with our son.

I am very cautious about time spent with the man I am dating and my son. My ex is now throwing fits because 2 weeks ago when he dropped him off there was a truck in my driveway. He called me from my driveway yelling at me about my boyfriend being at my house. I explained it was my friend’s truck. Later he called my grandmother about it and she explained it was my roomate’s truck. He emailed me today refusing to come to my house to drop off our son Monday because my boyfriend would be here. I emailed him back explaining that I have a roommate and that is her truck. He then seem to calm down.

I know I have not been perfect, but in all of this he has been threatening, emotional, and attempting to be controlling. In addition to all this he has been very difficult with EQ… to the point where he would not even allow me to take the children’s beds. I had to buy all new furniture, dishes, everything new for the house. I am walking away with my personal belongings and furniture from prior to the marriage and the mini-van we bought during the marriage. He made me give him back the wedding ring and considers me as leaving him because he has “invited” me back and I refuse to go back to him.

Is there anything that can be done about EQ now? He wants me to give up all rights to our house (which he is living in.) Will I probably be able to maintain custody of our son?