Cut Off


I’m currently living in the same house as my husband yet we have agree’d to separate and divorce. We have no contact, verbal or otherwise, and are roomates(there are infidelity issues that he committed). He’s in the Army(almost ready to retire) and has always been the primary financial contributer in our marriage of 5 years. I had been working part time. A month ago got injured on the job & have not been able to work since. I was declined unemployment and am trying to get workmans comp. My husband said since we aren’t “together” any longer, he doesn’t have to support me financially. He has always paid the household bills and taken care of my stepson financially and feels it is not his responsibility to take care of me. Before all this began, he always contributed money to me so I could keep up with the debts I have because I didn’t make much money. He cut that support off a month ago. I’m not in a position to move or relocate since I have no income. I need advice as to how I should proceed to get the support I need from him until such a time I’m able to go back to work and move out?


You may file a for a divorce from bed and board ( to order him out of the home) and include a claim for post-separation support. The basis of your action would be his refusal to support you makes your living conditions intolerable.


Thank you for your advice. As I understand NC law we have to be separated for ONE full yr before a divorce is allowed. He has made it very clear he will not move out of the house, and I’m not in a financial position to do so. Given this situation, can I get a Marital Separation Agreement put together that would hold him financially responsible to me right now, until I can get back on my feet? Also, if and when I’m able to leave, can he use Abandoment against me in filing for divorce when I leave? I can’t afford a lawyer and am at wits end.


Yes, you must be separated for a year before filing for an absolute divorce, but that is different from a divorce from bed and board, which is an avenue to get him out of the house and begin the one year period.

You cannot execute a Separation Agreement until you are separated (or just prior to separation) as agreements between spouses who live together will not be enforced by the courts.

NC is a no fault divorce state, abandonment is not grounds for divorce, only one years continuous separation.


Thank you again for your reply. My STBX made it very clear today he has NO intention of allowing me to get spousal support/alimony. Said that because he pays the mortgage & all the bills(which he’s done for the past 5 yrs) an takes care of his 14 yr old son from his first marriage, that I’m not entitled to anything. We own the house jointly, hense me thinking he can’t kick me out if my name is on the deed. If I’m not employed and have no money coming in would it be fair to assume that I could be granted support? He’s trying to tell me that someone at JAG legal told him these things. Are there any lawyers in NC(Cumberland County) that do pro bono work, or any that are very familiar with military divorce/laws. I believe this is going to end up a contested divorce, as he will not agree to anything.


Your spouse does not get to decide whether or not to pay you support. If you are a dependant spouse and have not engaged in martial misconduct, the court will order that he pay you support ( so long as he has the ability to pay).