Again, please forgive me. I am not all that technologically saavy and therefore don’t know how to edit my previous post nor do I fully understand what “reply with quote” means. Therefore, anyone answering this may need to refer to "daughter as witness, daughter as witness II)
First, I am no longer interested in reconciling with Dad and havent’ been for many months. That was very early in the separation and before I knew all that had happened during the time my children were in his care. Now reconciliation is not even a consideration.
Secondly, I would also like to think that abuse is illegal in all 50 states too but, as always, there are “loopholes” to everything-- as CPS (child protective services) readily admitted to me. They literally said there is nothing they can do because he is in a different state. They only asked for an “assist” from the other state. They (the “assist” in Alabama) interviewed Dad who of course said it was only a matter of discipline and not abuse. CPS in that state apparently agreed and didn’t even so much as recommend anger management and notified CPS here of same. CPS here can recommend nothing because, according to them, they have no way to monitor him anyway. Cased dropped. I would go on and on about all that did occur, however, that would take WAY too long. This incident of abuse is only one of MANY issues that ONLY my daughter and four year old son (who I won’t call) can tell of. Otherwise, again, as I understand it, it is simply heresay. My children were not even allowed to call me nor would any calls be accepted from my area code. Dad lives with his parents who hate me and have told my children as much and that I am not welcome in their home and, on the one occasion that I did get through to theids on the phone they were instructed to hang up on me.
THE LAST THING IN THE WORLD I WANT TO DO IS PUT MY CHILDREN THROUGH ANY MORE TRAUMA THAN THEY HAVE ALREADY SUFFERED. You should also knoe that I have battled and battled to actually HAVE Dad more in their lives. I beg him to call, to visit, ANYTHING. He have relatively little to do with them. In fact, he has nothing AT ALL since August of 2007. But, by that same token, I want them to no longer suffer as they would if he were their primary custodian and I want to ENSURE that they will not be going back to him. The very, very few times I was able to get through when the grandparents weren’t there, (I apologize if I mentioned this before)Dad actually taped all conversations with my children and told them (how unbelievably inappropriate) that he did so in case “he took mommy to court”.
Granted, it is certainly a difficult issue to weigh out…for daughter to testify or not. So, thank you all so much for your advice. I really am at a lost for what to do. HELP. The judge needs to know what happened there and I have been told that I cannot say these things!! If he wins, they will be going right back to “the haters” and if the judge doesn’t know these things happened, how can he rule to protect so they happen no more?
Sorry so lengthy. Blessings to all this holiday season.