Daughters' grades and dad's reactions


#1

my ex husband currently has primary custody of our 3 girls, when i’d asked my girls how school was going they told me it was fine and they were doing good. when i asked my ex he told me they were doing great and there was nothing to worry about. just to make sure for myself, i called conferences with all of my girls’ teachers and was not happy with what i found out! my oldest was doing extremely poorly in math and her teacher had sent letter home to her dad that he’d never opened notifying him that if she didn’t improve and start putting forth real effort in class there’s a good chance she could be held back, my middle girl had 3 F’s and 1 D in her classes and my youngest was at below grade level in every subject. i was very upset and called my ex to talk to him about what i’d learned, he said he had no idea that things were that bad with the girls’ grades because he’d been going by what they were telling him, which was everything was going good. i then asked him if he’d seen the notes the teacher had sent home with our oldest, he said yes, but he never bothered to read them because he didn’t think it would be anything important. he also said he’d talk to the girls and try to help improve their grades, and i said i would too. next time i saw my girls i asked them if daddy had talked to them, they said yes, that daddy had told them they’d better do better or else. i asked if daddy was helping them with their homework and make-up work, they told me no, that he says he’s too busy, or he says he’ll help but never gets around to it. i’ve been spending every weekend with my girls completing the work they don’t finish in class and helping them with the homework their daddy won’t help them with. i feel so bad that instead of having fun and being kids on the weekends they’re doing so much school work, but they need to get their grades up, which they have but they still need to improve a bit. my oldest is at grade level on every subject now, although she still tends to be emotional when she has a hard time figuring something out, my middle girl now has 2 B’s and 2 C’s and my youngest is at grade level in all but her handwriting, and she’s working hard to improve that. I’m very proud of my girls, but very irritated with their daddy for his lackadaisical attitude toward their schooling. i nearly snapped at him when we learned our middle child had gotten 5 write-ups and instead of saying something serious to her, he just laughed it off and said, “ohhh, i can’t believe you just told on yourself like that!” it’s not a laughing matter, especially since 3 of those write ups were for stealing, 1 on the bus, 1 from a classmate and 1 from her teacher. i can’t get through to my ex that school is serious, he was a 9th grade drop out and never got his ged, so he doesn’t see it the same as i do. i finished high school and have 3 certifications in accounting and 1 in economics and i’m in school part time working towards a dual accounting and business administration degree. what can i say or do to get my ex to realize that the girls’ education is no joking matter?! (i’d love to use that against him in court to fight for my girls, but it’s more important to me to help them as much as i can, versus fight with their daddy and make them even more stressed and upset…once summer hits tho…it’s on!)


#2

Just a short note to say I feel for you. Candidly I think our schools need to be set up to send out report cards to two addresses.

In Forsyth county the school records are online. I really wish the ex-wife would check more often, but I can check. I think it is her job as custodial parent.