Disabled veteran


Crazy story but make it short. Mother in law was in town, after 4 days, we had an arguement and the next morning we argued again and i spit in her face. My wife agreed it was time for her to go. We bought her a plain ticket and off to the airport. This incident was at 10am. Fast forward 16 hours and the police show at my home with an arrest warrant. Mother in Law missed flight, then made my wife take her to magistrate and filed charges. I finally see judge and realize there are two charges against me, both wife and m.i.l. I have PTSD and am 90% disabled from 4 tours in iraq. Spairing details, Two days later I am before a judge and I stood there confused, didn’t say a word and when on stand balled my eyes out and said sorry. I am then given a one year DVPO with no contact and no child visitation. They then pull my daughter from school and move to ohio and enroll her in school there. My lawyer made a deal with the DA and I am to attend a VA inpatient program and continue charges until later date. I am the owner and only one on the mortgage. When my wife had me kicked out, my house which is in the Housing Assistance Program for loan remod, was then pulled because I no longer lived their. I collect social security and disability at age 33. This sent my house into 45 days to forclose. Time is up and I can’t get in legally to the home. Worked with sheriff and court and because she told them she will return in June they cannot have my home taken of the DVPO.


additionally, DVPO doesn’t state any child support or anything. I have obviously done the right thing and made monthly payments. My daughter and wife both receive social security on my behalf as well. I also am still paying for my wife’s education so she can support my daughter as well. With no contact at all I have no way to approach any subject. a side note, when does nc courts lose juridstiction of my case and what are the requirements for her to gain ohio residency and have the ability to file for divorce and custody issues their. I feel my daughter enrolled in elementary school in ohio is proof but nc disagrees.


The DVPO is not a custody order, and you need to file an action for custody. Based on her departure, I would suggest you file a motion for emergency custody to have the court order the return of your child to NC.


even if the it is a one year DVPO which gives her temporary custody in the order as well as the car, the house, and all it’s contents. One other question, since she fled the state and the DVPO evicted me from the home, i have never been granted my stand-bye assist. this goes back to oct 30 2010, what actions can i take to remove my home address from the DVPO? i feel as though she is punishing me with a foreclosure and potentially sold marital property. is there any emergency measures i can use to gain access to the home. no electricity, water is shut off and the neighbor has a key “to watch the home”. is that even legal as well. thank you in advance for your time


Yes, the DVPO is meant to award temporary custody only, a regular action still needs to be commenced.
You also need to file an action for Equitable Distribution, the DVPO only gives her possession of those items, it does not finally distribute them to her.
You cannot remove your address from the DVPO, but need to report your new address to the clerk and to law enforcement.


I have given my new address to courts and county sheriff. I am really getting the run around from the court, because it states no contact. The sheriff called her and she claims she will return after the school year to pick up her belongings, that is in June. So if I understand correctly, the DVPO remains in place with the address of the home, place of employment, and school/extra curricular activities. How can I legally go in the home and get minimal goods before the home is taken by the bank? The order evicts me from the home, yet I am the only one on the mortgage? On a side note, do I have the right to rent the unoccupied home because it is empty? Thank you so much in advance, these are questions our family has discussed for months.


If the judge did not make a provision in the DVPO for you to go to the house with a deputy to collect your personal belongings you will need to file include a motion for interim distribution in your Equitable Distribution claim in order to get your things, and may also seek and Order allowing you to rent the home.


The judge did state that in the order. They left town before I could access the home and my stand-bye assists were met with the the sheriff stating the plaintiff of the dvpo must be present to pick up those belonging. I know it’s a wild story and unfortunately I was duped by my wife and mother in law. Looking back at what went down, and the penalty for my actions does not make sense. I have PTSD and they knew how to get in my head. I stood in the court room crying and saying sorry. I was then given the 1 year DVPO with all these restrictions. They took my social security payment and ran with it.


So armed with all my new information I spent the afternoon at the courthouse. After a long debate as to my ability to handle some paper work, I was given AOC-CV-313. I was told to fill it out and request to have it set aside and to also follow appropriate actions to have her served in Ohio. This addressed getting into my abandoned home (hopefully). Now for ED, I may file an action for ED, either as a separate action, or together with another action brought pursuant to Chapter 50, or as a motion in the cause. Now this is where they fed me the “that is lawyer business”. Clearly I understand I can proceed without one. “Temporary orders and injunctive relief are obtainable under the terms of special statutory provisions that allow for injunctive relief to prevent disappearance, waste or conversion of property alleged to be marital or separate, and that also allow for entry of orders for dividing part of the marital assets. The partial distribution may provide for a distributive award. Injunctive relief to prevent disappearance, waste or conversion is available before or after an ED action has been initiated. An order partially distributing marital property may not be made until after an ED action has actually been filed.” Does that apply and can I use it in that the home is vacant and with no electricity, fear pipe bursts and break in’s etc. One question I have is whether I can file for ED and child custody in the same motion? Finally in regards to child custody, I am making the initial action after the issuance of the DVPO giving temporary custody to my wife. You stated “I would suggest you file a motion for emergency custody to have the court order the return of your child to NC.” Do i have legal grounds to order that and if so why? Appreciate all your help and called the office today to speak with you and setting up a consultation.


You must file the action for ED and may include a motion for a emergency hearing to be allowed it the house to ensure proper maintenance is done to prevent the pipes from freezing ect.
You have legal grounds for emergency custody as your wife fled the jurisdiction with the child.


I know you are ultimately a business and get paid for your work, i unfortunately spent all of it to defend myself from criminal charges. I have done everything you stated, in a professional manner, accompanied by my friend because of my disability, and nicely dressed. I only say this because I am continually laughed at, like I am some dirtbag. I served 4 tours in Iraq and as a result was injured and am now retired. When I say laughed at, I mean on 3 consecutive occasions was sent on a wild goose chase and told I cannot do any of what you stated with out a lawyer. So crazy, that just yesterday, myself and two friends accompanied me to the courthouse with this thread printed out and making sure I was doing what I was supposed to. I was literally laughed at. I then was told to see the magistrate and he laughed at me. On my way home I stopped at the Hoke County Sheriffs office to file charges against my wife who has a DVPO against me and fled to Ohio. She left two nasty voicemails on my phone and sent two nasty emails. The sheriff looked at the first email and said, “here is the issue, the first line says for someone who wants to talk, this implies you contacted her and this is the response.” i have never contacted her. The sheriff called the magistrate and sent us back over to him. Before we left, i stated we were just there. The sheriff said calm down, i spoke with him and he is expecting you. Back to the magistrate, as soon as we open the door he says, “I knew it was you guys.” “Why are you here?” “Unless you have some new evidence, you are wasting your time” Can you please point me in the right direction, I am completely destroyed by all of this. There is zero justice.


I am terribly sorry you are in this situation, but I really don’t know how else to advise you. It is absolutely your right to file an action without an attorney.