Divorce now? or wait?

You have to live seperate for one year and one day in order to file for divorce in NC.

  1. If he wants the divorce, I would make him initiate it. To do so you have to be seperated for a year and a day (living in seperate physical residences). So if he doesn’t want to be married, he either needs to move out to initiatie this seperation or help you find a new place to live and pay for it (if you agree to it).
  2. Again, if he moved out tomorrow you wouldn’t be able to file until April 30, 2009. You would have to serve him with divorce papers, and there is an automatic 30 day waiting period after he is served (it can be waived though). Then you have to get a court date. Depending on how much you had worked out, it is entirely possibly that you might not be divorced by that date (especially if the courts were backed up).
  3. From my understanding it is rare to get sole custody of a child unless the other parent is unfit.
  4. Yes, you can definitely do it on your own terms! In theory you can actually handle all of this without an attorney, but I wouldn’t dare try. You can however, do collaborative divorce, which is much cheaper and much friendlier, however still has the benefits of legal advice. There is info on this site about it.

Good luck!

I’m a stay home mom of 2. One is in school. I have no income, no car, ect. My husband has recently decided he doesn’t want to be married anymore. I was talking to an ex online for about 6 months. He found out about it. 3 years ago I actually cheated on him. He turned around and messed around with a girl he worked with(says he only kissed her but he never wants to take responsiblity for his actions)I won’t get anymore into detail then that for now. Anyway, This happened about a month ago. We decided to go to therapy. We’ve been to two sessions and today he said he’s done. I have a few questions.

1.) Is it smart to get a divorce now? I have no where to go, no job, and no car. I have no idea how I will get these things either. If we get a divorce can’t he kick me out? We don’t own our home. Only rent.

2.) We’re moving back home to Maine in July 09. So would a divorce if filed soon be final by then?

3.) I have reason to believe he won’t hold up on child custody. He wants joint custody and I’m ify about this because we’ve seperated before he brought home our daughter becuase he heard I was going out with friends. So he brought her home so I couldn’t go out.

4.) Is there anyway we can settle this on our own terms? For example: We have joint custody of our two girls, and he’s will to pay daycare costs. Also something extra stating we stay in the same house until we move in July of 09? He’s agree to all this now but when he gets mad he threatens to change his mind. If we can do this I would be willing to do so.