Do I have to pay Alimony


#1

Ok so last september I uncovered my wife’s 4 month long affair with her coworker. I have hundreds of text messages between the two of them discussing the sexual acts that took place a work, I have a hand written letter from her stating that there was an affair and that in was sexual as well as emotional. I have an email from her affair partner asking for forgiveness for his part in all this. We have been in counseling for the last 10 months. We have had several cool off periods where she has left for a few weeks to stay with her parents who are close to us geographically. Things between us have not gotten better and she is still doing odd things, like hiding underwear, lingere and bathing suits upon returning from buiness trips. I have had enough. She stated that she has seen an attorney and that she is going to ask that I pay alimony to her as well as child support, we have two small children. I am currently unemployed but was the primary breadwinner before my job loss. I have not had any affairs, I have only tried to work on my marriage. Does she have an alimony claim?


#2

Also, I guess this question is valid too. Since I agreed to go to counseling after her affair and we did not immediately separate, have I condoned her behavior? I was just trying to make things work, for us and our kids. Will I be penalized for this?


#3

A dependant spouse who commits adultery is barred from seeking alimony. Based on the circumstances you list, I do not think that you would be considered as having forgiven her for the affair.


#4

Thank you Erin, I appreciate your response. When we are separated, if the wife of the man my wife had an affair with brings a AA claim against my spouse, am I liable for any damages that maybe awarded to her?


#5

You are not personally liable, however in order to protect your share of the marital estate you should file an action for equitable distribution.