Do I need a private investigator? Is my evidence not enough?


#1

I have pictures of my niece spending 2 nights with my separated husband (during the week that he had my 7 yr old daughter). I also have COPIES of all his phone records (they’ve talked over 27 hrs in 2 weeks) AND copies of ALL text messages between the two. (All evidence was obtained LEGALLY)! The text messages “imply” that they’ve had sex. They say things like "I really enjoyed last night…you are my powerstroke man…if you haven’t washed your hands yet , they smell like *****(her private body part)… I want more!..and you can have all that you can handle. Not to mention a ton of “I love you’s” between the two.

I am wanting full custody of my daughter due to him obviously throwing all discretion out the window by having a girlfriend overnight PLUS having sex during that same time – plus this girlfriend is cursing profusely around my daughter and trying to turn her against me.

I THOUGHT I could also sue her for criminal conversation, but my attorney told me unless I could prove the relationship was going on DURING our marriage, then I couldn’t file a lawsuit. THAT was a surprise as I thought I could sue her for cc, just not Alienation of Affection!

My attorney SUGGESTED I hire a Private Investigator to obtain MORE evidence (and so there would be no question as to the “legality” of the evidence). I am almost broke and cannot afford a PI! Would my pictures (which unfortunately are not dated, but they do correspond with the text messages) AND the phone records & TEXT messages be enough to possibly get full custody???

And do I have to have evidence of them being together ONLY during the time my daughter is with them…or is evidence of them being together at ANY time be sufficient?

Thanks so much…I just hate to spend MORE money on something that I may not even need!


#2

I believe you do have pretty strong evidence that an affair has taken place, however if your attorney feels he or she needs more to build a stronger case I suggest you heed that advice.

The affair alone is not likely enough to be awarded full custody. As I mentioned in one of my responses to a previous post, infidelity usually does not weigh heavily in a custody action.


#3

What about infidelity that occurs in the same house as my 7 year old daughter - rather than him using discretion by waiting on the weeks he doesn’t have her? My daughter has seen them sleeping the same bed together.

My attorney implied that I need more evidence of him having overnights WHILE our daughter is present.

If it’s not going to play a major part in custody, then I definitely do not need to hire a PI or waste any more of my time or energy.


#4

Here’s more info on my cause:

I have a prenup stating that ALL alimony/spousal support will be WAIVED. So neither of us can seek that kind of support (nor go after any retirement, 401-k accounts, etc).

I’ve just trying to figure out why a PI would be necessary? What would I GAIN… especially if infidelity does not weigh heavily in custody cases?

Just don’t want to waste any more money than necessary. And I didn’t get to talk to my attorney about all this (he was in court) – so the advice I was given came from his “assistant” who just obtained her law degree.


#5

As Erin said, an affair has little bearing on a custody case. Both parents have rights to see the children of a marriage and can determine what constitutes moral behavior during their visitation, unless their behavior is endangering the health or welfare of the child (neglect or abuse). An affair alone doesn’t constitute neglect, nor abuse. You may get lucky and find a judge that will reduce the rights of the father to see the child based upon his behavior, but it is a gamble, not a certainty.

As far as CC goes, according to the strict letter of the law (and only regarding behavior prior to Oct 1 of this year), a person can be sued for CC based upon post-separation, but before the final divorce, conduct alone. However, the awards for CC are smaller than those for AA, and it may turn out that you will spend more money to prosecute than you could possibly gain back in penalties unless your niece is wealthy.