I am very unhappy with my lawyer, he has done absolutly nothing so far to help me.
He suggests we do voluntary child support. From searching the NC Family Law I “thought” I had a little bit of hope that she would not be awarded the asking amount of child support($1400/mo). The hope that I had came from certain ideas:
The kids will remain on my insurance
Custody mediation is in a couple of days, but I have had the boys every weekend for the past year(friday to monday morning), 5 weeks,and some afternoons after school/daycare. Meaning that I have them every chance I am not working.
I pay $300/mo daycare AND $500 truck payment (in only my name), plue tax and insurance, AND she is the one driving it.
She left me in debt with cc’s, gas bill, electric bill, ranoff with kids to FL when she left and ran cell phone bill to $1200.
During the past school year Ive paid for 90% of all school events, pictures, clothes, school supplies, field trips, etc.
Since there is not a support alread in place, when she asked for $60 and $100 here I would give it to her, because I didn’t feel like the daycare and truck payment was not helping support the kids.
With this being said, will this help determine the amount that I am ordered to pay? Will it atleast help if back support is mentioned?Should I go get my vehicle back?
My lawyer says that they ONLY base it on both parents income, it has nothing to do with how much time I spend with them.
You should run the child support calculator on the home site. Child support is based on the amount of overnights the child/children spend with each parent, the insurance and daycare each parent pays out, and their incomes. There’s also extraordinary expenses that can be added but that’s normally like special schools or something voluntary that is not a necessity. I do not suggest that you continue to pay the high amount of child support so because when/if it does go to court, the courts will look at this as the amount you agreed to. Not a good idea. Especially if you are also paying for everything else. They will base their decision on the guidelines and your ability to pay and you would have to file for modification later to get it lowered. Run the calculator and pay that amount. You need a separation agreement drawn up stating you have joint physical & legal custody with equal time. If you want to pay over and above what the guidelines say, that is up to you. My husband does this just so the kids will have what they need because the child support he pays is used for her house paymemt. Your stbx/x sounds like she’s under the delusion that child support should cover everything and that she doesn’t have to contribute. This is not how child support works and your attorney should know that. If you are not happy with your attorney, I suggest consulting another.
The truck…I have no ideas on that one. If it is in your name, you have no separation agreement, you make the payments, insurance and tax, then I would say you need to get the truck back in your possession. File for ED. If she ran up an unusually large bills after the date of separation, then she will be responsible for them. The household bills are no longer going to be her responsibilities if you have separated but she can be held accountable for 1/2 the credit debt.
You really need a separation agreement or file for ED and custody with the courts.
I forgot to mention that she has a boyfriend who lives with her. I too have a girlfriend, but we do not live together or share bills. His income is helping her pay atleast half of the fix bills such as electricy, cable, water, rent and so on.
My lawyer told me a couple months ago when I first hired him that I should leave the truck in her possession, that this will make me look better for providing her with transprtation for when she has the boys. Then just yesterday, he told me that doing the things ive done, providing her the truck, paying for daycare, extra moneys, schools suplies, amount of time I have the kids does not help contribute to anything…so my point is WHY does she have my truck?
Maybe I wrote it confusing but I do not pay child support yet, my lawyer said it would be a good idea to go ahead and do voluntary child support at the maximum $$$ and when we went to court or worked it out with her it would be lowerd.
I am like most men, don’t know jack crap about this issue or how to go about doing it. My girfriend has been doing research and has given me alot or pointers, has done the calculator, and it does NOT come up to $1400 a month, even looking at the Child Support Guidelines list it does not say $1400.
You can look at the sample separation agreement on the home site and draw up one yourself. You can have the lawyer look over it to see if there’s anything that needs to be fixed but your lawyer’s job doesn’t begin unless you go to court. Your attorney should know that if you pay $1400 a month, then that is what the courts will expect you to continue paying. You will have to go back to court to modify that amount. More court time, more money for the attorney.
If you can, you should sit down with your stbx and discuss the mutual issues. It will be much cheaper for you both if you can agree on these issues. Look at the big picture when you’re deciding these things. If it’s going to be a problem that she has a vehicle you pay for, then you should let her know that by x date, you need the vehicle to be refinanced out of your name or have the vehicle back in your possession. The custody & child support you will have to look at as raising your children separately together.
You can draw up a separation agreement stating that at the time of absolute divorce, the truck will be returned to your possession in relatively the same condition as is now, within reason for usage. This way, she has until your divorce is final to use the truck so that she has transportation for the children. Prior to that time, she will need to get the truck transferred to her name or find another vehicle. If you would allow her to have the truck that is.
You should begin paying the child support by the guidelines or put into the agreement an amount that you think is fair within reason of the guideline amount. Be sure to include all that you pay now. The agreement can include ED, custody, child support, alimony. It can “settle” any and all debts or outstanding issues so that when it comes time to divorce, you do not have to do it all then.
Best scenario is that you have joint physical & legal custody with equal time, you must specify what joint custody means, anything and everything for the children is divided between you except immediate needs when the child/children are with you. If they need shoes, then you buy them shoes. Next time, she buys. School supplies, lunches, field trips, same deal. Or you pay and have her give you 1/2 the money back. Medical insurance can be tricky but if you are willing to work together on custody you can arrange that whichever parent’s insurance is better and cheaper, can carry the children and the other parent pays them back a portion. Any co-pays and medications can be split too.
The thing to keep in mind is that if you and the stbx can work out an agreement between yourselves and it’s reasonable, there is no reason for any of it to ever go to court. Taking custody, child support, ED and divorce all to court is VERY costly, time consuming and emotional.
Keep a journal of major events, where the children stay and an account of all money spent. …I still keep a journal after 5 years, just in case.
The medical insurance premium and daycare costs are factored into the child support calculation. I suggest you leave the vehicle with should be dealt with in Equitable Distribution, and you should receive credit for the payments you have made since separation.
The number of overnights you have with the children determines which worksheet is used to calculate support. If you have the children more than 123 nights a year support will be based on a shared custody worksheet.
My wife’s ex-husband recently married his girlfriend because of their pregnacy. The ex-husband lost his job because of his position within the church and the circumstances surrounding the marriage/pregnacy. How will this affect future child support payments which was determined in their separation agreement? Will it be better for my wife to seek child support agency to enforce payments for the future since of his lost of employment and change in his family situation? The ex-husband has had a history of being late in paying the child support and we feel his personal changes will contribute even more…
If the ex fails to pay support and your wife files for breach of contract the ex may be able to successfully raise a defense of impossibility in defense of a breach of contract claim if he truly has no way to pay the support agreed to. Another option is for your wife to file an action for an initial determination of child support though the court system.