Domestic viloence question


#1

according to the statute, Domestic Violence is defined as the “commission of one or more of the following acts upon an aggrieved party or upon a minor child residing with, or in the custody of the aggrieved party, by a person with whom the aggrieved party has or has had a personal relationship, but does not include acts of self defense: 1) attempting to cause bodily injury, or intentionally causing bodily injury; or 2) placing the aggrieved party or a member of the aggrieved party’s family or household in fear of imminent serious bodily injury or continued harassment…that rises to such a level as to inflict substantial emotional distress”

How does one prove they were in a domestic violence situation based on #2 if there were no police reports and I stayed in the marriage for 10 years? I was never beaten but I was pushed down once which he apologized for in an email (so I have that in writing), and I do have a diary documenting the many emotionally abusive incidents through the years and my fear of him. I know this can be tricky in court as people often times cannot comprehend why if someone was in fear that they didn’t remove themselves (and their children) immediately from the situation. It is far more complicated than that, but I wonder if I have done myself harm from a legal standpoint by not doing anything about this sooner.

Also, can you file anything around domestic violence when you are separated? I called the police one day when he was at my residence because he was threatening me and I was scared, but I got too scared to have the police actually show up and I told them nevermind. Is that at least on public record somewhere? They asked for his name and date of birth when I called.

His behavior is becoming increasingly irratic and it makes me nervous.


#2

If you stayed the in marriage for 10 years there may be a presumption that your fear did not rise to the level necessary for a DVPO to be issued. I do not know the police policy on whether or not call logs are kept for long periods of time.


#3

Freedomgirl, I’d like to know more about your situation. I’m dealing with something similar and have kept a diary only within the past year and a half. i thought I was doomed to remain in this Hell that I’m in but with the help and strength of family and friends, I’m working on getting myself and my children out of the home. I understand the reasons you’ve stayed so you aren’t alone. I’ve undergone counseling for domestic abuse/violence and you may want to look into that as well. It’s free at a local battered women’s shelter (you don’t have to reside there) or through your local DSS. Send me a message or figure out a way so we can talk. It helps to have some kind of support.