Drug use

have you tried a restraining order do to the fact that you are scard for you and your child for his violent past to others and your home?

steve m. hancock

Dear newmom:

Greetings. This post is very long. I will try to answer the questions I can find quickly.

  1. If your husband has physically assaulted you, go down to the court house and get a domestic violence order.

  2. If your husband lives somewhere else now, he cannot keep coming to the house as it would be domestic criminal trespass.

  3. Possibly.

  4. Yes, generally.

Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

My boyfriend and I have been together over 5 years and cohabitated for over 2. We now have a 3 month old daughter and he is on the birth certificate.
Short story:
-He is abusing alcohol and using crack
-He is not on the lease or utilities
-His only financial obligations in the household has been his car payment and his insurance, which he has failed to pay since June
-His gross annual income is around $41,000
-He has been verbally abusive and threatening to me, but has not been physically violent towards me or our daughter since the birth
-He has been physically violent with other people and has broken/thrown/stabbed items in the home
-I am currently breastfeeding and intend to continue until she is 12 months old
-I work and pay all the bills (including his car payments he missed and daycare)
-I take the baby to and from daycare and provide all child-care outside of work hours

Issues Separating:

  1. The police have informed me that they cannot force him off the premisis since this is his legal residence. What recourse do I have to keep him from waiting for me in the driveway?
  2. I am trying to deny him unsupervised entry to the home, but he says he has a right to come and go as he pleases - does he?
  3. When I pursue legal action regarding custody, can I insist on a hair drug test? He might manage to stay clean for a pee test.
  4. I would like to maintain breastfeeding and am scared of unsupervised visitation. Will the court support the coninuation of breastfeeding by allowing me to be near enough to feed her during her visitations if I can’t pump enough bottles, and can they require supervised visits only?

more details:
About 5 months ago he went through a very traumatic surgery. He has had mental problems since then. He recently (approx. 1 week before the birth according to him) started using crack and abusing alcohol. Although I had noticed the extreme mood swings and he would disappear for days, I assumed it was due to the new medications the psychiatrist had prescribed. I did notice an increase in his consumption of alcohol and asked that he refrain from drinking in excess. Two days before I went into labor I stayed at a nearby hotel because I felt his behavior was too stressful and not good for my pregnancy, but I still did not know he was doing drugs. I finally got a clue when the loan company called me about the car payments (I am a cosigner). Shortly after I found out he was doing crack, he had the ultimatum to go to inpatient rehab that his family and I arranged for him, or leave. He went to rehab, but they released him early due to what insurance would cover and recommended outpatient treatment. I accepted him back in the home with the agreement to have random at-home drug tests and did not leave him with our child unsupervised at any time. He did not follow up with outpatient treatment and relapsed after being home two weeks. At that point, I refused him entry into the home and called the police to escort him in to get his things. He was extremely calm and collected during this particular incident, despite trying to break into the home before the police arrived. I arranged for his uncle to pick him up, and he went without argument. Since then he has called insisting on shared custody including overnight!! and freedom to come and go into the home as he pleases. I’ve always been a champion of father’s rights, but quite frankly I’m scared to have him around her at this point in time.

Thanks so much for any feedback.