hi claudia,
as one who is currently in a similar situation, be sure that it is spelled out. in mine it clearly states that no one can drink or use illegal drugs near my children, and no one can be around my children if they aren’t sober. the issue of sobriety is a big one. i was recently held in contempt because my ex accused my fiance of not being sober. there was no basis for his accusation as my fiance has not had a drink in a long time, and he certainly has not and never will do so around the children. the charges were dismissed. it was just another attempt to make my life miserable by a vindictive ex.
if he takes you to court, and i know this having just been through it, he has to have solid proof.
my attorney noted that one definition of sobriety had something to do with being an addict–even in recovery; that anyone with an addiction is not sober. she thought that was what his attorney was going to use against us. she didn’t, but the thought was frightening; anyway, that shouldn’t affect you because under that definition your ex wouldn’t be sober.
good luck. be sure, though, that you spell out everything that has to do with the sobriety stuff. this isn’t a legal opinion, but it i have been dealing with the sobriety issue for quite some time now.
Dear Buck:
Greetings. If you put this language into the agreement, it does not make the act of abusing alcohol illegal, but something that you agree is not in the best interests of the minor child. If you drink alcohol, that would be a hard paragraph to understand. On the other hand, I would be willing to give up alcohol, have the paragraph that neither shall drink alcohol in the presence of the minor child, that way my spouse who is an alcoholic would not drink in the presence of the minor child. Best of luck.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorce.com
919-787-6668
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
Just wanted to clear up a couple of points. My husband is a drug addict, so understand the issue of illegal drug use in front of the children.
However, with regard to the issue of drinking alcohol. Since this is not illegal, would a Judge rule that the children can’t be any place alcohol is being consumed? We have many family get togethers, and almost everyone drinks a beer or two. We’re Catholic, and don’t believe there is a problem with having a glass of wine, or a beer…or even two. If a Judge would grant this, how would it be regulated?
Claudia
Dear Buck:
Greetings. I doubt a judge would order that the minor child to not be around alcohol at all, but if that is what you want to agree to, you can. If you don’t want to agree to that language, then don’t. Best of luck.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorce.com
919-787-6668
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
My husband wants to put in our Custody agreement that the children “can’t be around anyone doing illegal drugs or abusing alcohol.” He’s a drug addict, just out of rehab, so I understand and agree with the illegal drug issue, but don’t understand the “abusing alcohol.” Who would determine how much is too much, and how could this be regulated? Would a Judge even grant such a requirement since drinking alcohol is legal?
I’m reluctant to add this to the agreement because I think my husband would try to convince our 7 year old that anyone drinking a beer was abusing, just to drag me back into court.
Claudia