Easter visitation question


#1

This weekend is my exes per the schedule, but in our tentative agreement it states Easter would always be spent with me.
I followed the holiday schedule in the tentative agreement for previous holidays even though I wasn’t court ordered to do so.
I asked him 3/3 if I could have Easter based on this. He agreed and I have the correspondence from 3/3 via text messages.
I’ve bought my sons Easter outfit and my family has lunch planned after church based on the agreement to let me have Easter.

Yesterday, he asked if he could pick my son up Thursday night (noraml pickup is Friday at 3pm), but I said no because we have plans Thursday night. I have offered that he can pickup Friday and I will meet him Saturday or we can switch weekends and he can take mine next week.
He has refused both.

So he is refusing to bring my son back to me Saturday as we had planned. I’ve told him I won’t be sending my son unless I have it in writing that he will be returned Saturday afternoon as planned. Is this acceptable? Will I get in trouble with the judge? Need your advice on how to handle please.

We go to court this month…hopefully, so the tentative agreement is what we’ve been working on, but are stuck on a few issues, but not holidays.


#2

Technically you must follow the order, though if your ex files a contempt motion a judge may be more understanding considering that you made plans based on your ex’s previous agreement to let you have Easter.


#3

“tentative agreement” does that mean a Separation Agreement or what exactly? Is there a court order?


#4

We had temporary orders issued a long time ago and we never went back to court to make permanent. We currently don’t follow the temporary orders at all. He filed for modification 6 or 7 months ago to get permanent orders in place and we have worked out an agreement but we have not signed it because there are a few issues we want to put in front of a judge, child support being the biggest issue. We follow this agreement in regards to drop off and pick up and holidays, etc…SO during Thanksgiving and Christmas, we have followed what was worked out in our tentative order. The tentative order says I always have him Easter, regardless of whose weekend it is. I confirmed this with the ex over a month ago.


#5

If there is no order in place, and your ex agreed to what you have requested, and only later changed his mind, my advice is to follow your plan.


#6

Erin,
Our original plan was for ex to pickup son Friday and return Saturday, and I have Easter Sunday with son.
With the ex now threatening not to return my son for Easter if i do not allow a Thrusday pickup, am I ok to not send my son at all, to insure that we do not miss Easter with him and no stunt is pulled?

So far, the ex will not commit in wiriting/email to returning son Saturday. So if I allow a Friday pickup, nothing garantees he will return him Saturday. I’ve offered to switch weekends…makeup time next weekend. Geez…this is getting to be terrible.


#7

HOliday’s over ride the normal schedule. Easter is yours via the order than you take it. You will have to go pick up your child if he’s not returned to you. Whenever their are issues, you follow the court order that is in place. If you deny him his weekend, you will be the one facing contempt. He can walk into court and say he had every intention of returning the child for Easter visitation. Don’t set yourself up for this. Follow the papers.


#8

There is not guarantee that he will not be spiteful and not return your son on Saturday. My practical advice is to “wear the white hat” and allow for Thursday pick up thereby ensuring you can spend Easter with your son. This action will fair better for you in the upcoming custody case than refusing visitation would.