If the court order states he is suppose to pick the child up, then thats what need to happen, All you were trying to do is help him out but if hes making it difficult then you should stick to the court order, and based on what you are saying you are not doing anything wrong. And if he don’t pick up the child make sure you document it each time.and make sure the child knows that dady is picking him up and make daddy tell the child whether or not hes coming so the child won’t think you are keeping him from his father.(just a suggestion)
thank you so very much…it’s just scary because I don’t want to take away his visitation (really I don’t), but I want to make sure that he is there ya know? Thank you again for your reply!! She is only 5 so she doesn’t really understand time yet (thank goodness) so we just tell her that it isn’t his weekend to see her. Believe itor not she is very happy not to go!!
I agree with fatherdoright. You do not have to take your child to him if it is in the papers that he picks her up. I was in a similar situation when the ex moved about 75 miles away. I tried being nice and meeting him half way, but he would show up late(not minutes but hours) or not show up at all. I refused to meet him and he took me to court. Not only did the judge tell him it was up to him to pick up the girls, I was told I only had to wait a reasonale time for him if he was late.
This may sound harsh, but you need to document all conversation and actions with the ex and stepmother. I kept an appointment book(already has dated pages) and joted down jist of conversations on the date that they occurred. This proved really handy when he took me back to court.
Also, please let your child know that you are not stopping her daddy from picking her up. My ex tried to tell my girls this, but I made sure they were aware of what was going after he tried this by letting the girls call him and letting him tell them when and if he was coming.
Very good advice tahnk you very much! Actually I have been keeping excellent notes and also have them via email with him stating that he cannot be there. I actually allowed the stepmother to pick her up for awhile but then she started telling me that she doesn’t see her father that often and that she has been spending the night at her stepmothers’s mothers house!!! Thank you again…I just needed reassurance as I am sure he cannot pick her up and will not get visitation until he takes me to court. I have offered to move the visitation to Saturday and even offered to drop the child off at his house since I was going to be in the area…provided he was there. He never responded to my email for that offer at all. But agagin, thatnk you so much for all of your advice
I wrote a previous message and thought that I should expand. The father refuses to supply me with any schedule for work and claims when I go up to meet him for visitation that he told me a schedule when he did not. I offered to drive her up to see him (as he cannot come get her because of work) and he did not even respond. The only reason I ask, since the court order specifies that he must pick her up, can I refuse to drop her off to her stepmother. I am not trying to restrict his visitation…I just don’t think he is there. Will I get in a lot of trouble for refusing visitation if he cannot pick the child for a visitation when if he is not there?