Just want to spend time with my son


#1

CHANGE PICK UP AND DROP OFF LOCATION DUE TO THE FACT YOU CANT GET ALONE WITH HER THAT WAY IF YOU SUPPOSE TO PICK HIM UP AT 6 SHE NEEDS TO HAVE HIM THERE AT THAT TIME AND SHE NEEDS TO BE THERE WHEN YOU DROP HIM OFF, HAVE A COPY OF THE AGREEMENT SO YOU CAN SHOW THE POLICE SO IF SHES NOT THERE IN TIME FOR YOU TO DROP HIM OFF THEN YOU LEAVE WITH YOUR CHILD AND GO HOME AND SHE WILL NEED TO MAKE ARRANGEMENTS WITH YOU TO COME AND GET HIM, AND IF SHE DOES NOT BRING HIM YOU WILL HAVE WITNESS FROM THE POLICE THAT SHE DID NOT SHOW. THATS WHAT I WOULD DO. AND DOCUMENT EVERYTHING, WHEN SHES LATE, THE RUDE COMMENTS IN FRONT OF THE CHILD.DOCUMENTATION IS VERY IMPORTANT


#2

I just read what I wrote and one of my sentences may be confusing when I say she has a boyfried. I am speaking of my ex and not my current girlfriend. My ex has a boyfriend that she lives with that cares for our son from time to time. I have no problem with that as long as my son is well taken care of I don’t understand why she can’t be the same way.


#3

I have not gotten a response for an attorney and I really need some assistance in knowing how should I proceed from this point. Am I not abiding by my agreement by working one day on the weekend that I have visitation? Does my ex have the power to say that our son can’t be left alone with my girlfriend because of the ex’s feelings towards her? My ex is now calling me telling me that my son is having emotional problems because I don’t spend time with him. I try to explain to her, that she says that and then in the same breath wants to take away my entire weekened because I go to work on one of those days? I try to explain to her that her talking ugly to me or telling him that she doesn’t like my girlfriend is not helping much but she tells me that everything bad is my fault. Should I go ahead and get an attorney to get her to abide by the parenting agreement signed or is there anything else I can do so that she’ll know that she just can’t make a decision that I am not allowed to see my son whenever she feels like it? I really don’t think she realizes that he’s my son too and I have rights as his father. PLEASE HELP!!!


#4

Still waiting to hear from an attorney please help.

Thanks


#5

Hi, just be patient and they will reply, sometimes it just takes awhile. I’m not sure, but I think I read somewhere that if you keep adding to your post - it puts you at the end of the line. They respond in the order of posts. Good luck with your situation, and remember - you can be in control of the situation to an extent, just understand your rights and don’t let anyone walk all over you. Give her enough rope- she’ll hang herself.


#6

Last weekend was my weekend with my son and my ex did not allow him to come. Our order states that I pick up my son on Friday at 6pm and take him back on Sundays at 6pm. I talked to my son the Monday after the last weekend he spent with me and I had not spoken to him again. I call everyday but no one answers the phone. I called her Thursday evening and left a message that I would be there at 6pm on Friday to pikc him up. She called me on Friday morning to let me know that he was sick, she was taking him to school but was taking a half day to take him to the doctor and if he was feeling well she would allow me to pick him up on Saturday. On Saturday afternoon she called me to let me know that he was feeling better and she was taking him to her parents to play with his cousins, and that he was not coming for his visitation with me. I asked he why she didn’t allow him to come and visit me she said she wasn’t going to agrue with me and hung up. On Sunday morning I called her parents house and my son was there I talked with him and asked him was he feeling better and he told me that he wasn’t sick. So she basically lied to me. She didn’t allow me to spend my weekend with him but dropped him off at her parents. I am really tired of her using our son to hurt me. What should my point of action be? Should I have an officer escort me to her home next Friday at 6pm with a copy of our court order? or Would it be best to file a motion to show cause? How do I file the motion? How long with it take for me to get results? Please help!!!


#7

when its your time to pick him up go and pick him up and if hes not where she suppose to have him at then go to the police and show them the court order, call her from the police station and then go back to her house with the police, have them fill out a report so when you take her to court you will have proof, and do that each time she wants to act a fool, get the police involved that way you will have evidence of her behavior. be patient and things will change.


#8

Dear BettyBead:

Greetings. Your ex cannot tell you who can babysit your child, although she can ask the court to make changes. My suggestion is that you just follow the court ordered agreement and try to work things out with her as best you can. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#9

Thank you for your feed back Ms. Fritts. We have gone through a good spell and I’ve had no problems excersing my visitation this month. Yesterday I received a letter in the mail stating that my ex would like to go back to mediation to make an adjustment to our current custody agreement. From what we’ve been going through I know her issue is going to be me working on my visitation weekends, and my girlfriend baby sitting my son. I know that I am not going to sign an agreement that states I can not work on my weekends with my son, nor am I going to agree that my girlfriend can’t babysit, or that my ex will come and pick my son up on the days I have to work I don’t want to miss an entire weekend because of one day of work. When I’m scheduled to work on my normal weekend off I always try to see if a co-worker would switch with me. Sometimes someone will switch and other time’s they don’t. The only other option I have is to call out and I can’t do that; I need my job. The letter states that I should respond within 15 days of the letter if I would like to go back to mediation. What happens if I do not agree to go back to mediation, will our current custody agreement stand until we go to court? Will going back to mediation, and not coming to an agreement get us a court date faster? Do I have a lawyer before the court date is set? Please advise.

Thanks!!!


#10

Sounds to me like your ex is a sorry excuse for a mother. If you can work things out (via mediation or consent order) with the other side, great. Sometimes it’s just not possible. The trick is to know when to stop wasting your time negotiating and when to request that the court become more actively involved.

Does your mediation agreement (which I assume is equivalent to a consent order and hence enforceable by the court) prohibit your girlfriend from watching your son while you are at work? Does it limit your girlfriend’s contact with your son in any way? Does it even mention your girlfriend at all? If not, I’d tell your ex to


#11

Wake Dad, Thanks for the advise I’ll use it.

Ms. Fritts, I have a few more questions to add to my post for you.

Will going back to mediation, and not coming to an agreement
get us a court date faster?
Do I have to have a lawyer before the court date is set?
From the way things seem it looks like and I going to need a lawyer.
What should I do if I would like an attorney from your firm to take my case?
What are the total costs, and do you all have any type of payment plan?
Please advise.

Thanks!!!


#12

Dear BettyBead:

Greetings. First, I would suggest that you go to mediation. Even if you don’t agree, then your child custody agreement still stands until you go back to court.

Next, you have to go to mediation before you can go to court, so I don’t think this is a large issue…go. Yes it will likely get you back quicker if you need to be in court.

If you want to work with one of us, you need to call us and let us help you.

Please see the attorney fee calculator on our website (let me know if you cannot find it). Our fees are broken down into timed payments so that clients can afford them. Litigation is always costly, which is why we recommend trying to settle the case well before you go back to court. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#13

Dear BettyBead:

GOOD LUCK although I fear this may be an endless uphill battle for you. If you come out ahead I would like to know how you did it. Even as a woman I must admit that our system is so geared for the mother that those fathers who are trying don’t have a chance. My son is in a similar situation. He too shares custody, with the mother having primary. There court ordered divorce/custody papers state that he has the child from 3:00 every other Friday until 6:00 the following Sunday, and one night during the week. Further, if either parent cannot keep the child during their visitation time they must first offer the other parent this option. She works 7:00 am to 3:00 pm and her mother keeps the child during the day. We have offered continuously to keep him a few mornings a week so that she can do things she needs or just have a break but that never comes to pass. My son was promoted at work and now works 3:00 - 11:00 p.m., technically he could keep him every day until 2:50 and we could keep him for 20 minutes until she could get here to pick him up but she will not agree to this. (Violation #1 - not allowing father to keep him instead of her mother). Multiple times she will not have the child at designated place for his week-ends. Last year he went almost six months without seeing his son because she would not “produce” him for vistation. We helped son hire an attorney (2500.00) and charged her with contempt of court but a few days before scheduled court date she decided to allow him to visit again. Attorney encouraged him to go along with this as it would look better for him if he were trying! Now again she is in this pattern, he may be there he may not, usually about once per month if my son has made her mad sometime during the week, you can always predict whether he will get his visitation or not. He has gone to the local sheriff’s department who told him they do not have enough manpower to enforce domestic court orders - higher an attorney, magistrates office said it is not their job to enforce - hire an attorney. I assure you that if he were late with his child support they would have enough manpower to lock him up. If he did not have child back at scheduled time they would have enough man power to come looking for him. I know I am biased but I truly do see both sides but she is so spiteful (last time was wanting to know date of son’s recent new marriage - when he told her that his personal life was none of her concern, all she needed to know was that he is re-married, she told him that he would not see son until he gives her the date). She constantly threatens his visitation depending on what she wants or wants to know, always no bearing on child’s welfare. It seems as if the system is for the mother only and there are no exceptions unless you can afford (which we cannot) to hire an attorney each time. Incidentally, this last time when son called previous attorney she recommended that he just tell her what she wanted to know, if not he could pay another retaining fee and she would charge her again with Contempt of Court, but “we know what she will probably do.” This is from one of the better attorneys in our county! My husband says don’t take child back next time he gets him and let her hire an attorney, when he gets in court he can tell the judge what is going on, at least he will have a day in court, but I fear the local sheriff’s department will put him in jail. Any suggestions out there, short of hiring attorney, again?


#14

i think some of these women suffer what is called Malicious moms Syndrome or Parental Alienation Syndrome. My wife has a Text book case of this.abuse-excuse.com I have been thru alot in the past 5 months. She will not listen to anyone. She did hear the judge today. I haven’t seen my little girl for 4 months. I got visitation reinstated and the judge has court ordered a Phys.Evaluation of her.
She has not counted the cost to my daughter. It is just what she wants. God has for sure come thru for me. I stillhave every weekend starting this weekend with my daughter. even though it is supervised by my mother. My wife did not want that. She see’s that others are seeing her and her problem or just the evil in her.


#15

I filed for joint custody of my now six year old son last year. My ex and both live in North Carolina, but in separate counties about an 1.5 - 2 hours away from each other. I was forced to file for joint custody last year because she goes through spells when she decides not to allow my to see or speak to my son for months. We were lucky to come to an agreement in mediation, we decided on a joint custody agreement of where I have visitation with my son every other weekend picking him up on Friday at 6pm and having him at home on Sundays at 6pm. I also have time with him on holidays and school breaks. I currently work with a company where I am required to work every other weekend and work rotating shift. My time with my son falls on my weekend off. We recently lost an employee and I am having to work at least one day of my weekend off until they fill the position. I currently live with my girlfriend of 4 years and she has been a part of my son’s life since he was 2 years old, and they have a good relationship with one another. My girlfriend cares for my son when I am at work. She also has a boyfriend that she lives with that will care for our son when she has plans or has to work, and I am perfectly OK with that. I have moved on and I hope she’s happy. My ex does not like my girlfriend and has stated that my son is not to be left at home with her while I’m at work. She openly states that she does not believe he would be harmed its just the fact that she does not like my girlfriend. She calls me a bad father because I work when my son is with me and has stated that she will not allow him to come on weekends I have to work and if he does come she will come and pick him up before I go to work, if I am on first shift I go in at 7am and if I am on night shift I go in at 7pm. I try to explain to her that I am required to work and can not just call in. I have bills as well as child support to pay and I can’t afford to put my job in jeopardy. Her argument is that when he is with her and sick or has to stay out of school she calls in her job understand and my job should understand as well. This weekend was one of the weekends I’ve had to work she found out that my girlfriend kept my son and has stated that I will not be allowed to see our son for the next couple of times I am scheduled because I did not follow her rules. I am not sure what I should do at this point. We have a court order that she is not abiding by. Does she have the right as my sons mother to tell me that I can not work when he’s in my care and who is allowed to care for him if I do have to work? This is the second time that she’s done this since the custody agreement has been filed. I love my son with all of my heart and I cherish and enjoy our time together. I wish I was a part of my sons lifes everyday but lifes situations and circumstances have made it so that is not possible. I have other problems with my ex that I can deal with I drive for approxiatly 2 hours to be there by 6 and I and have to wait for her for an hour or so, the same thing happens when I take him home. She also calls my home and is very disrspectful to me and girlfriend. She disrepects me in front of my son. She calls me continuosly at home, at work, and on my cell to tell me that the court ordered child support she receives of $570+ per month is not enough and I need to do more for our son. When I dropped my son off yesterday she called me a punk “MF” in front of my son as she pulled off. All of that I can really suck up and deal with I just want my time with my son. When I work and am on day shift I go in at 7am and get off at 7pm, that evening I have time with my son and when I am on night shift I go in at 7pm and have that entire day with my son. What do I do to get our custody agreement enforced so that she abides. This is a very emotional topic for me and I know I’ve ramble but I hope you understand my point. I love my child with all of my heart and just want to spend as much time with him as I can.