December 4, 2011, I had to file an ex parte and have my husband served. Humiliating and terrifying experience to say the least. He hates me, and accuses me of adultery constantly. He attacked me and my daughter came in and witness the incident. Thursday, December 14, 2011 I will have to face him in court. I am terrified of the outcome. I am terrified to see him. The army could care less about myself and my children and DSS has been a nightmare. I was told by the county that I have to move or I risk losing my children. He has never been abusive to my children, but I know his verbal, emotional and physical abuse towards me is abusive towards them. I get that. DSS looked around my house and told me that I needed to sell off some of our shared belongings to raise money for a new place to live. I told her that she was basically telling me to disregard the ED laws of NC. She said, you can stand there and make excuses, but in the end you will lose if you don’t do it.
I just hate this whole process. I hate that I am in the legal field and know what could happen, but still unsure deep down inside. I am bringing my witnesses to his abuse and violent behavior immediately following the events. He came to my house this past week and brought the MP’s with him to retrieve mail. The order from the county was already in place. They allowed him to curse at me, accuse me of stealing his mail, and they kept questioning me about it. The order states that he is NOT to have contact with me at all. Not see me nor speak to me and the same goes for my children. They didn’t care.
***Questions:
Please tell me what could possibly be decided by the judge? As in, if they decide that he can have contact with my children will the judge decide at the hearing? Should I get custody/support drawn up and have him served at this hearing? What if the judge decides that I get physical custody of the children at that moment, and grants me a full protective order, will it be for a year or 6 months? If the judge decides that issue immediately, will that help me in the long run with custody in family court? What if the judge decides that I need the full protective order, but he can still see my children? Should I still create the custody/support complaint and have him served that day or will the judge decide the arrangement? We have never been to family court on any of these issues and when I gave him a separation agreement, he refused to look at it.
I may have an anxiety attack before my “3A” hearing on Thursday. I sure hate knowing the law, but unable to predict the outcome. I know you can relate as an attorney. I am sorry for the length.
An ex parte order is good for one year. It can be continued even after that too. The judge will likely speak to whether or not your ex can see the children in your return hearing coming up. I would suggest you bring up that he has already violated the ex parte order. I would file the violation as soon as possible. If you file for the violation and the judge agrees that it was violated, your ex is likely to go to jail. There is not a reason for you to file for custody and child support ahead of the return hearing. You can always file for those later if necessary, but the judge will likely award you custody of the children and possession of the house for the next year if you are successful in getting the protective order.