Expenses that are considered Reasonable?


#1

Hello all,

I’m new to the board, so please excuse if this has been asked before. Here is the situation: Ex and I have been separated for exactly 1 year in NC. We have a legal custody document, separation document, and everything is finalized. She actually pays me a very small amount of child support each month.

In addition, we split expenses (uninsured medical, extra curricular, sports, etc). We have a 17yr daughter and 13 yr old son. The split is 41% (me) and 59%(her).

Recently, she took our daughter to visit a college. She expensed the gas to take her, and the parking for the garage. She would have expensed food as well, but I had previously argued over that. She lastly expensed a college t-shirt and water bottle that she purchased for our duaghter as a souveneir.

I complained about the t-shirt and water bottle. This may seem small and insignificant, but it’s a repeating pattern. She will purchase items, give them to the kids and later expense it and the children think it’s a gift from her, or she will expense things that I do not necessarily agree are resonable.

So, the question is this. What in this scenario would you consider “reasonable”? She will be taking my daughter to dance competitions this spring and summer. Are hotel costs reasonable? Is Gas? Is food? I feel like a business writing expense checks. If food is reasonable, should she get a per diem?!?

Thanks in advance!
NC Griffins


#2

Woah, sounds like she’s just spending your money with a free pass.

You only need to split EXACTLY what is outline in the order. So unless your order says you split expenses at the souvenir shop, they you are not obligated to pay.

As for the competition expenses, I would argue you only need to split the cost that would be associated with your daughter. So if your ex-wife is going and shares the hotel room, then you would owe your part of HALF of the hotel room bill since your ex-wife is also using it.


#3

not an attorney

I am an ex-wife, and I fully agree with EndoftheLine. I think she is expensing things that are 1. petty and 2. ineligible to be expensed. That would be like me expensing to my ex half of the cost from when I took my DS to Disney, stayed in a hotel, and bought him a souvenir.

I view valid expenses as medical, extracurricular/sports and the like…but things that are unnecessary, such as souvenirs are ridiculous to ask for reimbursement on. Same goes for meals while out…that is something that was extra and optional…and these are the kinds of things that child support and her own income/money should cover, in my personal opinion.

While I understand that visiting a college is important, it’s still not something that I would ever expect my ex to cover a % of, unless we discussed it beforehand and it was agreed to, because it is not outlined in the order/agreement.

Just wanted to give perspective from an ex-wife…your ex is trying to take advantage of the agreement, I think…


#4

Unless your agreement provides otherwise, I don’t think you are obligated to pay half those expenses.