I have the same problem. I would like an answer to this also. Thanks.
Most separation agreements contain a provision that written consent of both parties is required for modification. A court cannot modify the terms of a separation agreement. It can, however, issue rulings pertaining to custody and support such that the provisions of the agreement addressing these matters are effectively superseded and no longer of any practical value.
To keep your costs down, come to an agreement with husband’s ex-wife. Then go talk to a good attorney for advice. Have attorney draw up the new agreement. You could do a mod to the agreement without involving an attorney, of course, but I strongly advise against it. You do not need to get the court involved at this stage, although you may choose to do so for various reasons.
If you can’t agree, you’ll need to go to court and have judge decide. Judge will issue a ruling on validity and applicability of present separation agreement. Judge will also determine child’s reasonable expenses and how they are to be apportioned between the parties. These rulings will be in the form of a court order which is enforceable by contempt proceedings.
Bear in mind that judge does whatever judge wants to do with expenses. The amount of discretion the judge has in this matter is mind-boggling. Your view of “reasonable” may be very different than judge’s view.
My husband’s ex-wife does not watch her pennies as much as we do. She insists on overpaying for afterschool and summer care. We have 50/50 custody (every other week) of the 8 year old girl and have enrolled her in the cities afterschool and summer camp for our weeks, a very respectable program that often has a waiting list. She has been paying cash to a babysitter afterschool and is also paying 3X as much as we are for summer camp on her weeks. She says that we must pay her half of the total amount spent (what we pay and what she pays divided by two). In addition she has enrolled the daughter in tae kwon doe a very expensive money draining activity. So my question is- are we responsible for paying half of all expenses even if we do not agree with them or consider them extravegent? Would a judge consider these extra expenses to be our responsibility when we are providing a safe place for summer camp and afterschool at a reasonable price?
This is not court ordered, this is outlined in a separation agreement that expenses for the child are to be split- this was based on no more than 104 overnights with dad (it is now 50-50 time.
So what do we have to do to get this modified? Does the fact that nothing is the same (time with child, income etc)as outlined in the agreement make it null and void? How do we get this modified with out a bunch in attorneys fees? Is it reasonable to get a modification stating they split agreed upon expenses?