Unnecessary purchases

I am going through this same thing. The ex abuses the ruling regarding the “sharing” of expenses and charges me for unnecessary items. However, the Court always sides with the ex and I am forced to pay the stupid costs. Ex’s income is 4 times mine, yet I have to pay 50% of extracurricular expenses and these costs that he incurs for whatever he wants…without telling me and then just sends me the “bill”. I don’t know what to tell you to do. Maybe you have a better judge than I do and he/she will see your point. I hope so, for your sake. Looks like the Court would want to stop abuse rather than encourage it, but it just ain’t so. Good luck. Gotta be better than mine.

Is there some wording in the agreement that specifies what types of expenses were covered, what proof (check) of payment was made, what items/amounts should be discussed before purchase? If not, go back and see if you can get these ammendments included. It sounds to me the school supplies are a “gift” from the grandmother. Gifts should not be included in the equation. In all honesty, I don’t know who came up with the idea of spliitng costs, but if he is hard to communicate with, there will be issues in the future. Maybe you could include an ammendment that says that any non-ememergency (single purchase)expenses that are a total of 50.00 and (monthly purchase) of 150.00 or more must be discussed and agreed by both parents before purchase is made. With the agreement in place, it will be more difficult to get these inclusions, but it’s worth a shot. Good Luck.

I agree with trbotina that there should be some wording in the agreement of how to show what has been purchased and how. It sounds as though the supplies were purchased much earlier and only after the doctor’s appointment were you informed of the debt. Maybe there could be an agreement that all qualifying expenses will be shared within 30 days after the expense.
I do not think that his grandmother purchasing his school supplies would be considered in expenses you owe your ex for. If anyone other than you or him spend the money then it is not reimbursed to the other parent. If the items that he’s asking you to reimburse him for were already purchased by you then I suggest letting him know that since you both purchased the same supplies reimbursement would be unecessary. If one of you is paying for insurance then maybe the other should be the one to pay co-pays…(?)
I suggest that you hang on to receipts for future use in case, and come up with an amount monthly that you consider acceptable to pay out without being reimbursed for. I understand that you have this arrangement to avoid a monthly support amount, but realistically, it may cause some resentment over “nickle and dime” amounts. If your ex is difficult to get along with it may be easier on both of you to not expect expenses to be split if the total is not over a certain amount.
This will all depend on how closely you both want to follow the court order. My husband and his ex don’t follow their court order much at all. After the first year of arguing that the papers said this or that, they found it was easier and less stressful to work out an arrangement that works for them rather than go by the agreement they had when they were separated and divorcing, when they were still bitter and angry. Basically, they realized they have to work together to raise their children separately.

The order should define what expenses are to be shared and when the receipts must be shared. If the order does not address those specific issues, you may need to request that the order be modified or ask that the judge clarify those issues. There is no correct way to do this legally, it would simply depend on your agreement.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

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Court order states that both parents are to divide certain cost for the minor child. Ex-sample of such cost is school supplies. In years past my ex