Joint custody order


#1

I thought I should add a few things. Insurance, medical bills and daycare are covered in another part of this order. The part I have an issue with is just about clothes and school related items.

richard j caputo


#2

Hmmm. Never heard of that requirement. But I was divorced 10 years ago.

Do you have a good relationship with your ex? How does SHE feel about the receipts for every little thing? If you are in agreement about the pickiness and all that, it seems you could come to an arragement between you. Yes, to change a court order, you have to go back to court. But if you both agree to keep receipts and hold them for a period (like quarterly) then add them up and see where you stand. If she pays like 500.00 extra in expenses and you have paid 525.00 extra over that period, it would be stupid to have to cut a check-you’re pretty much even.

If she is not amenable, then you’ll just have to follow the order.


#3

THE COURT ORDER IS BEING WRITTEN NOW. I have not signed anything. My lawyer insists this must be on the order. This is because schedule b is for true sharing of expenses. I believe this will be a source on trouble. I have always taken care of clothing etc when I have him and so does she. This will be mute in most cases. My x can be very hard for me to deal with and I know this will be a problem.

Let make something clear. I have no problem paying for things above the norm. But having us constantly compair what we spend on my son for everday things is stupid.

richard j caputo


#4

I would have to agree with needinganswers response. My husband and his ex have this in their papers about clothing…well, not this specifically but a different arrangement. Regardless, the first time it came up, they got into such an arguement about it that it was decided that they would not bother with splitting the cost anymore. That it would be simpler for both to just buy for each respective home and leave it to splitting the bigger stuff.
I know this is not very good situation, especially if you and your ex can not agree about this stuff. My husband’s ex bought stuff that the children didn’t need just to get the money from him. Now the only thing they split is medical/dental bills and anything extra like field trips or school pictures. In fact, they don’t follow their court order much at all anymore because she finally figured out that it was just too much hassle to be as petty as she had been during the divorce/custody.
If this language must be in the court order, then maybe it would be better if you did try to follow this for the first 6 months to a year and then talk with the ex. It’s something that you are going to have to deal with and maybe the first time you and she have to come up with the money to give the other, she will see this…


#5

Generally each parent pays the day to day expenses incurred while the child is with them. That means costs for clothing, shoes, field trips ectera. The parties do not generally exchange receipts and share these items. I do not know why your order states differently, did you settle this matter with a consent order?

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com/live for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#6

We went in front of the judge and did agree to settle with some guidlines given by the judge. The other attorney quickly suggested they would type up the order. I think this is a case where they are trying to take advantage of me and my (now released) atty was not wanting to fight them. I did agree to extraordinary expenses like baseball etc. They took it to the moon. My atty tried to convince me this was required as because we were now on schedule b and needed a true sharing of expenses.

I am now looking for another atty. It is a bit of a mess because I feel I have very little time to get one. The judge I am sure is wanting a signed order soon. I have already spent a bundle on the first atty. I really think all I need is an atty to meet with the judge and get up to speed on exactly what is required to be on the order and then help me make this order reasonable.

best dad I can be


#7

If the order was entered on the record you may not be able to change it at this point. The fact that you agreed to a settlement is the reason why your order does not follow the guidelines.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Sutton Station
5826 Fayetteville Rd. Suite 205
Durham, NC 27713
Phone: (919) 321-0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#8

I just won joint custody with my son. We have calculated our child support with schedule B. My court order now says we are to give the other party all receipts for clothing and school related activities and they are to pay half. It was explained to me that if I buy shoes for my son my x has to pay me back half. If my x buys my son shoes then I have to pay her back half.

To me this is nonsense and will only cause trouble. We both buy everyday items for my son when we have him. My lawyer says this is the law and can not be removed from the order. He says the only way this can be removed is if we go back to schedule A. ( I have my son 140 overnights)

I have always believed the basic child support amount figures these types of things. I expected the order to only have us share costs on exraordinary things like sporting activities etc.

Please help, I am not sure I am getting good legal advice.

richard j caputo