Just what can the judge order?

Dear bohica:

Greetings. Yes, the court can order you to pay for expenses and deviate from the child support guidelines.

No, an attorney cannot give permission for a party not to comply with a court order. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

Just curious…but why wouldn’t you want to contribute to your childs activities? You would be if you were still married. Sounds like you’re very lucky to have a child involved with those things, as opposed to the alternative things kids are into these days. Wouldn’t being supportive be a good thing for you to do?

I can see both sides to this issue… my husband pays child support to his first wife, and she consistently makes large purchases (as in, $900 senior pictures, $400 on graduation announcements…) and then bills him afterwards without consulting him on the costs involved. I am quite young, and graduated just over 5 years ago myself, so I know the costs associated with this event and they’re not typically THAT high for the average family… So, if the other parent is operating on the “I can do financially outrageous things for my kids because I’ll only have to pay half” like my husband’s ex does, then I can see bohica getting fed up with having to pay these costs. We payed grudgingly for these costs, but as she continued to push the limit. he actually wrote up an agreement with her that she would consult him before making large purchases like this, because if he is going to be expected to cover the expense, he should have some say in the goods/services being purchased.

If these are activities your kids were involved in prior to the breakup of the marriage, it seems reasonable to maintain them. HOwever, if you truly feel your ex is being unreasonable in loading up the kid’s activity list, maybe it would be good to talk to him/her about the pure TIME involved in all of these activities… if you’re sharing custody then you BOTH have less time with the kids than a married couple would - so throwing them into drums, coutillion, tap dance, baseball, etc etc is taking away from both of your time with them. And it’s just not healthy to have kids shipped from one organized event to another every day of the week. They need some unconstructed, free play time, too. Try approaching it from that standpoint and see if over the next few months your ex will come around to backing off the organized activity tangent.

I failed to mention that my ex has 20,000 more per month than me. I am not having an easy time of it financially. And no. My child did not do all of those things during the marriage. My ex is bleeding me dry and nickel and diming me to death. The judge does not make him follow the orders. Just me. I asked for a reduction in the percentage based on the income shares model. My part would have been 12% to my ex’s 88%, but no deal. I owe my ex over 4,000 which is almost 100% of my monthly income. Thanks.

Is this the divorce judge or the child support judge?

Same judge for divorce and child support. Ex retained over 90% of his income. Extracurricular, uninsured medical, psychiatric, orthodontic—all split 50/50—same judge awarded the ex more than 50% of the property and complete control of the children’s UTMA Accounts from which he is “reimbursing” himself—against NC statutes—but there is nothing I can do. He can withdraw funds from the UTMA to pay for expenses for my son in addition to retaining his whopping salary. For myself and my child, we receive 9% of his income.

NASCAR MOM, there is a difference between trying to do for your kids and being taken advantage of. In the United States, a father can be ordered to pay up to 60% of his income in child support. It happens a lot more often than you think, which leaves dad living on a shoestring, while mom collects her tax free “dadfare” check. I’m sure BOHICA would love to pay for half of whatever activities his kids want to participate in, but sometimes, dad’s got to be able to pay the electric bill instead of tennis lessons. Sounds like another example of mom using the courts to exact her revenge against dad.

www.delta/bravo.net

maybe you ought to see about getting the state to establish child support. go to www. ncchildsupport.com . I costs just a little 20.00 or 45.00 I can’t remember, but they will set up equity in the child support based on income. As far as the divorce order with the extras, you may be stuck there. At least your child will be given the opprituntity to do all the extra stuff. But what I tell myself is that when my son is grown, he’ll konw that his momma loved him, even if I couldn’t always “give” him stuff. Good Luck

OT: (apologies)

Does anyone know how to correct this problem when trying to Post a New Topic? (see below)

"There has been a problem!

You have not entered an answer for the Antispam question. Please use your back button and try again."

Please let me know if the problem on posting was not corrected.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

In the Final Order, the judge ordered me to pay 1/2 of summer camps, 1/2 of school supplies and pictures, and 1/2 of extracurricular activities among other things. According to the info on this site, a Court of its own authority, cannot order a party to pay for summer camps and things like school supplies. Just how far can a Court go? The order says I have to pay for scouts, cotillion, tennis lessons, piano lessons and up to 1,000 of anything over 2,000 whether I make arrangements or not. In other words, no matter what my ex decides for my child, I have to pay. Is this country run by Nazis? This Court has made me pay for 1/2 of my child’s USTA Card and 1/2 of 20.00 my ex paid for my child at a school lock-in, a tennis tournament entry fee that my ex signed my child up for on his own weekend and drum lessons that I didn’t even know about!! Can A court do such as this???

Also, can an attorney give permission for a party to not comply with an entered Court Order? Can an attorney grant “forgiveness”?