Extraordinary expenses/help

Hey, I do not know about the medical part, but I do know that if you have a visitation schedule he cannot take the time away from you. What my lawyer told me was that visitation is actually to protect the parent who does not have physical custody. That parent can cancel his chance of a visit, but I cannot take his visit away from him.

Dear xmedwife:

Greetings. You can file a motion to modify child support and a request to deviate from the guidelines. You can also file a motion to modify custody and ask the court to make him consult you before he creates extracurricular events on your time or your child’s time. I would argue that the camp he signed your child up for is not something you should pay or agree to and tell him that you expect your court ordered two weeks of visitation. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

Thanks. In an ordinary world, your advice is sound. However, in this world that I’ve been thrust, the “sound” thing does not apply. My ex took me to Court over a tennis tournament that he had signed my son up for on my time without my consent and the judge in my case indirectly ordered me to take my child to the tournament–a week in Winston-Salem–so I feel I have no choice in whatever he signs my child up for. I have no rights in this case and I’m sure if I don’t pay these things (50%), I will be dragged back into Court for contempt. This judge made sure everything went my ex’s way and will continue to do so. A motion to modify would not be successful with this judge. I guess there really isn’t anything anyone can do for me. I’m stuck with this until he succeeds in taking my child too. Thanks so much for showing me that I am NOT wrong concerning these issues—this system I’m dealing with is wrong.

xmedwife, I assure you you’re not the only one living with an unfair or unsound court order. Sometimes I think judges have too much discretion in custody and support matters. But on the other hand, they need to have the authority to issue rulings that address the particular circumstances of the cases they hear. The problems arise when the order’s terms aren’t based on the evidence presented at trial, or when the order’s findings and conclusions could not possibly follow from the evidence.

It is difficult to successfully show that a judge acted in a biased manner. You could nevertheless still try to get a new judge via a motion for recusal/reassignment. These are not often successful, however. I assume the time for appeal in your case has passed. Also, “permanent” orders are not permanent in the literal sense. They’re only “permanent” as long as the present situation remains substantially unchanged relative to the situation in effect at the time the hearing was held. So, keep your eyes open for a substantial change of circumstance that affects support and/or custody. You can then go back to court and try to get a better deal.

I was ordered by the judge to pay 50% of uninsured medical and 50% of extracurricular activities for my child. Recently my son had to have surgery on his knee and the treatment included two MRI’s and of course, the surgery. I do not know how much this is going to cost, but I’m sure it will be plenty even at 20% of the difference and the deductible. My income is less than 1/3 of my ex’s income and this is going to be quite a hit on me financially. My ex also signed my child up for a very expensive summer camp without even telling me–involving two weeks of my custody–and then requested 1/2 the payment for the camp—1600.00. I refused to pay it. What can I do about these orders which will create a financial hardship for me if he continues along this line and then because of the orders, I have to pay these expenses when I can’t afford them? He’s a physician and his office reimburses him for any out of pocket medical expenses, but not “my share”. Thanks.