Visitation Expenses and Child Support

It is reasonable for the parents to share the visitation expenses such as driving 1/2 way. Or driving the total way to drop the child off. It can not be deducted from child support unless you have an agreement, not a court order, suggesting that what you pay is a specified amount that can be altered if the ex owes you reimbursement.
Most courts would look at the driving time and stress that the parents need to share this responsibility.
Since it’s been 5 years you may want to check the guidelines to see if the amount you pay could be changed…
I’d like to commend you for allowing the extracurricular activities that are scheduled on your weekend to continue. There are a lot of parents that will not do this, especially so far away. This is understandable given the distance and time, but it’s often the child that suffers.
I’d suggest talking to the ex again and letting her know that this is situation is not working out the best for you or your child. Suggest that the arrangement that you had previously be continued or you may not be able to have him back at her “required” time. Remember that this is not just your time with your child, it’s your child’s time with you. He is entitled to spend time with you without the other parent interferring.

This may be grounds to modify child support and there is a legal basis for doing so, if she will not agree you will need to file a motion to modify child support.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
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The separation agreement will hold up in Court concerning visitation for the child. She cannot keep you from seeing your child as it is spelled out in the Custody Agreement. However, things appear to have changed. Obviously, she is not following the Agreement/Court Order. This should be grounds to find her in contempt. This should probably go before the Court, but the Court does not always do things that people think it should. Try to get this resolved without getting the Court involved. You will probably do better on your own.

My Ex and I have a custody and support aggreement that is 5 years old. About 4 years ago she moved an hour and a half away. Until she remarried and had another child, we would meet at a location 1/2 way between our residences to get my son back and forth for visitation. Now she is refusing to share the transprotation and requires me to drive all the way to her to pick up my son and all the way back to her. By the time I get him home with me on Friday it is almost time for him to go to bed and since she requires me to have him back to her before 5:30 or after 7:30 on Sunday (so she can attend church) I either loose a third of the day with him or don’t get home until late. There are also extracurricular activities he is involved with on the weekend that many times result in he and I spending a good portion of the day Saturday in the car going back and forth to her home town. Is it reasonable to ask for her to either share the transportation responsibility or in lieu of that 1/2 of the related expense (i.e. the federal milage reimbursement rate)? If so is this deducted from the child support?