My custody order states: “Plaintiff shall have at least two phone calls per week with the minor child; these calls can be by video conferencing when possible and shall not exceed 20 minutes.” Recently, my Samsung S10 was completely smashed after I dropped it in my driveway. I informed my toddler’s out-of-state father that we’d have to just do phone calls for the time being until I can pay the deductible on the phone. (He hasn’t paid this month’s child support yet and also refused to contribute anything to our daughter’s recent $200 medical bill that I had to pay all of.) I pointed that out to him when he told me I was violating our custody order in not providing him with Facetime. He said that phone calls will only count when our two year old daughter is older and that I need to figure out another way to Facetime. The backstory to all of this is that he has historically used Facetime to harass my family and I, has said extremely inappropriate things in front of my other children, and has many times become angry and shouted at me. My toddler absolutely hates it but we do it because we have to. So, this past week I’ve not heard from him and I’m just using my work laptop for emails and otherwise I’m using this cheap flip phone that I was able to activate for $20/month. It’s been so incredibly peaceful and nice and it’s got me thinking that maybe I don’t have to Facetime much or even at all. I obviously don’t want to do anything that will put me in contempt, but my daughter hates Facetime and is completely uninterested anyway. Can I just refuse to do them and tell him it’s phone calls or nothing?
According to the sentence you quoted, your court order does not require you to do video conference/Facetime at all. It states that the phone calls “can” be by video conference, not that they “shall” be by video conferencing. However, your order does say that they need to be conducted by video conferencing “when possible,” so you should make good faith efforts to resume the video calls but you are not in contempt of the order if they are not possible.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
Thank you. In this day and age, having a smartphone means that video conferencing is always “possible.” My husband and I have discussed this at length and feel it would be much healthier for our family if my ex only had phone calls and his scheduled visitation with my toddler. Given the fact that my ex has primarily used facetime as an avenue to harass us, accuse us of endangering my toddler in increasingly bizarre ways, criticize her hair and clothing, and say/shout incredibly inappropriate and sometimes hateful things that my other children have overheard, could our unwillingness to allow him into the privacy of our home based on his own behavior, qualify as making video conferencing “impossible.”
That will come down to an interpretation of the word “possible” in your court order. Regardless, all that sentence really requires of you is that your child has two phone calls a week. As written, if you determine that FaceTime is not in your child’s best interest, then as long as your child has two phone calls a week, then you would be within the parameters of the court order.
Be sure to document each instance of the intrusive FaceTime calls, the things he has said or does, the effect it has on your toddler, etc.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.