Tired of Threats


#1

My child is a toddler and his father left us almost two years ago and moved out of state. Visitation is currently covered by a consent order we accomplished through court-ordered mediation. In our agreement, ex was supposed to complete certain requirements prior to being allowed to take our child for a few hours at a time until he is a little older, and then work into some overnights. He has never made any attempt to complete these requirements, and several months have gone by. Basically, when it is convenient for him to see our child, he contacts me and expects me to meet him somewhere so he can see our child for an hour or so. I have never said “no” to a single request. This happens about once per month. The last time he requested to see our child there was trouble when I showed up (so I left) and I no longer wish to go around him and do not consider him safe for my child to be alone with. (Our child is special-needs.) This is not the first time this kind of trouble has occurred, but it is the first time I was able to snap a picture of the environment. Meeting with him was never part of the agreement. I have our child 24/7/365 and I can only assume that since he’s made no effort to meet the requirements that he’s really not that interested in establishing real visitation or nurturing a relationship with our child anyway. Is there something I can do to have his lack of involvement on record? Can I simply stop agreeing to meet with him? Am I seriously expected to continue to tolerate verbal abuse and idle threats of legal action?


#2

If you have a valid Consent Order which outlines requirements which your ex must fulfill prior to having visitation with your child, then you can properly withhold visitation until such time as he fulfills those requirements. If you feel your child is unsafe with him, in particular because of your child’s special needs and young age, and you have proof of your concerns, then I think you should do what you feel is best. Since you have an Order in place, and he is not fulfilling what his visitation is conditioned upon, then you would not be violating the Order.


#3

Thank you, Crystal. What would be considered acceptable proof? Am I allowed to record conversations?


#4

Pictures, videos, eye witnesses and numerous other things can be acceptable in a court of law as evidence. Yes, recordings in which only one party consents ( the one recording it) are legal in NC and allowed in evidence.


#5

Thank you.


#6

You are welcome!