A couple questions

My lawyer advised me to call DSS regarding my husbands admission on recording that he is using corporeal punishment on my son despite court orders. He also says to withhold visistation. Can I withhold visitation or do I need to see what DSS has to say about my evidence first? Can he call the police if I withhold? I don’t want to put my son through a nasty confrontation.

Also, can I legally record conversations between my son and his father? Now he knows these are always on speaker phone, and I am practically a part of the conversation because my son often needs prompted to move the conversation along. Yet he could deny this in court. I can tell that he is steering conversations with my son in certain ways to make himself look good and I can practically always tell which ones are meant to try and get a court recording. He drills my son for dirt on what I might have not done perfectly that day-like too much TV time, too much junk food, not enough outside time, you name it. I know HE can record them, but I don’t suppose I can. There was one conversation I wish I had where my son asked him to stop popping him too much.

Update-social services says this is a matter for the courts as there were not bruises resulting from the corporeal punishment.

I do not recommend that you withhold visitation, unless there is a clear physical danger to your child. You will only be setting yourself up to have a cross motion for contempt. If you refuse visitation, he can call the police and they will enforce the Order, since DSS has apparently found that there is not immediate threat of harm.

You will need to proceed with a motion for contempt to address this issue.

Unless your are included on the call and your ex knows you are included, I do not recommend that you record conversations between your son and his father without telling him. NC requires that one party to a recording must consent. It is arguable that your son cannot consent to the recording as he is a minor child, and if you are not a know party to the call there is no consent.

I had this same concern about recording calls between my son and his father and I found this information in a post under ExpertLaw:

“North Carolina takes a less restrictive view of a parent’s vicarious consent, as set forth in Kroh v. Kroh, 152 N.C. App. 347;567 S.E. 2d 760 (2002), observing that other jurisdictions permit vicarious consent: As we find the reasoning of these cases persuasive, we adopt the vicarious consent doctrine with respect to our Electronic Surveillance Act, thereby permitting a custodial parent to vicariously consent to the recording of a minor child’s conversations, as long as the parent: has a good faith, objectively reasonable belief that the interception of the conversations is necessary for the best interests of the child.”

Definition of vicarious: acting or serving in the place of someone

The laws vary from state to state, but this is what I found for NC. Hope this helps.

also want to add that my ex did the same thing to me. He was recording conversations and asking questions about what types of foods my son ate, whether he had been outside to play, etc. It was clear that he was trying to make himself out to be the perfect parent and trying to find anything to make me look bad. I read your post and it sounded very familiar to what I have been through. DSS did not help me at all. They are pretty much useless as far as I am concerned and a waste of taxpayers’ money. They did not thoroughly investigate the case and even falsified report in court.