Fathers decision making rights


Did a judge terminate your rights? that will be shocker if he did. I think she is just fibbing and trying to get you out of their lives now that she has a new man. What visitation did the court grant you? She is legally binded to that and if you have not been to court then file right away for vistation rights, it is a almost gauntee that you will get some. The only reason you wont if she can prove you to be a unfit parent, which is pretty hard.

You can get free forms to fill out yourself to petition the court for visitation, i know here they are available at our local cso. and I have seen them all over the net for free. But it sounds like she might not work to easy with you so it might be best if you get a attorney. If you can not afford one call your state bar and see if you qualify for a reduced fee lawyer, or pro bono… also legal aide will help with visitation if you qualify.


Your ex sounds like a real piece of work, Troubledad123.

Is your custody and visitation set via court order or unincorporated separation agreement? If by court order, you both have to abide by order’s terms unless one or both of you have a darn good reason why you can’t presently comply. You can bring a “show cause” action against her if you think she’s willfully violating the order. If by unincorporated separation agreement, you have little more than a piece of paper with some words written on it. Your “rights” in this case are zero. She has physical custody of the kids the overwhelming majority of the time, and you have no input into the major decisions that affect their lives. The result is that you’re a parent in name only.

Your ex needs to acknowledge and accept the important ongoing role you have in the lives of your children. She needs to understand that “sole custody” - however the two of you implemented it - does not equate to no parental rights for you. If you are able to reach this common ground with her, you might try to resolve your differences out of court. If not, don’t waste your time negotiating with her. You’ll need to go to court and have a judge set custody and visitation. It’s unlikely you’d get a worse deal from the judge than what you’ve presently got from your ex-wife. Keep in mind that telephone contact is a form of visitation the court can order. (Child support will also be set as a consequence of the custody ruling, if either of you requests it.) Good luck!



Greetings. Yes, you can, and should, file for custody to be determined by the court. What she is doing is called alienation. Believe it or not, it sounds like she is doing this to try to hold on to the new man in her life - which is likely to backfire on her substantially and get her into a bad situation - not to mention the harm it will cause your children and your relationship with your children. File immediately and deal with the issue.

By the way, I would also file a breach of contract action, so that she may have to pay your attorney fees (if you have an attorney fee section in the agreement). Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
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1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
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The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


I have been divorced for a couple of years. My ex and I agreed that she would get sole custody and a separations agreement was signed. I have liberal visitation rights (every other weekend, twice a week, holidays, etc…) That all worked great until last year. My ex changed her religion, married (not legally), and has basically tried to push me out of the children’s lives. She has them calling her new husband father, does not allow me my weekday visitation, rejects my input on the children’s life, and allows me no decisions.

All I want is to be a full part of their life and be allowed to help them grow up in the best possible way. My ex is not cooperative and has told me I gave up my parenting rights. The only way I can speak to her or my children is to call her new husband’s cell phone. I can do this (putting aside all my pride) to speak to my children but I cannot deal with the total in ability to make any decision concerning my children’s welfare. Do I have any options? Can I get joint custody and if so will it make any difference?