Finding a Mediator


#1

The role of a mediator is to help you and your spouse reach an agreement regarding custody. The role of a mediator is to be neutral, even if that was not the case, you have control over the outcome, therefore any potential bias of the mediator would not be relevant.

You can contact the State bar for a list of licensed mediators in this state and then call and speak to them until you find the one that you are most comfortable with.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#2

My custody agreement states that if either party wishes to modify any part of the agreement that the party requesting the change is responsible for the costs of mediation. However, if the parties are unable to agree, the costs of mediation are to be divided evenly.

How would this be done? If a mediator requires a retainer then it would be me paying it. If my ex wife refuses to come to any agreement, then how would the mediator handle billing? Would MY retainer fee be kept and the responsibility of compelling my ex to pay her portion be left up to me? Or would a mediator split the costs and give each of us a bill?

I ask because my ex doesn’t pay for anything. Ever. Not up front. Not after the fact. She simply doesn’t pay.

I’m already stuck paying off all her debt (because my name is on it and her lack of payments are hurting my credit). I don’t want to also be left holding the entire bill for mediation if she utterly refuses to compromise or come to some agreement in mediation.

This brings up question #2 - since our agreement states we must attend mediation before effecting any changes to the agreement, can she be compelled to attend mediation? What if she simply chooses not to participate in mediation? What happens next?


#3

I would need to review the specific terms of your agreement regarding mediation before giving you an accurate answer. Generaly, if you make a good faith effort to participate in mediation, and your spouse refuses, you would not be to have breached your Agreement.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#4

I hope to be able to successfully negotiate an acceptable child custody arrangement with my ex wife in mediation. However, I have read that mediators are often just glorified social workers with a common bias in favor of mothers. True or not, I would assume that some mediators would be more inclined toward my position than others.

Where do I search for a mediator? How can I judge in advance which mediators would be more sympathetic to my position as a father? Do mediators have paper trails that one can research to see what types of recommendations they frequently make?

I want to shop around for the mediator that will be most inclined to empathize with my position, but I don’t know how to start “shopping”.

Any advice will be appreciated!