Glutton for Punishment..Please advise


#1

My husband & I had separated for 3 years. We remained in contact the entire time I was gone & recently decided to reconcile. I moved back into our marital home, giving benefit of doubt that things had changed & would be better. Only to find out his betrayal/infidelity issues are worse than before.

I’ve been a dependent spouse the entire 8 years we’ve been married. Functioning as a homemaker & taking care of his son. I have a physical injury that prevents me from working. He’s been paying all of the bills, mortgage & had been giving me a monthly “allowance” & insisted he do so. He’s retired from the Army, gets retirement & disability pay (for which he claims me as a dependent, even when we separated) & works a full time job. Was it legal for him to claim me as a dependent to the government when I was absent from the home for 3 years? Would spousal support be an option for me given the circumstances?

Now, he insists I move out of our home that we jointly own. His son is 18 & a Senior in High School lives here as well (we don’t have children together). We are all cohabitating as room mates. I believe he’s involved with someone as I have only been back here 4 months & he’s persistent about wanting me to leave ASAP. He has resorted to belittling me on public social network sites. Can he force me to leave our home? If he can make me leave, would the NC separation statute(1 year 1 day) for divorce take place immediately? Or start from the date we separated 3 years ago before reconciling?

I don’t have a car or income & can’t afford a lawyer. I need advice how to proceed with this difficult situation. We were married in Cumberland County, but live in Hoke County. Do the counties that differ where we married & live make a difference in terms of divorce/separation proceedings? Are there any pro bono family law attorneys in this area that could assist me? Any advice you can provide will be greatly appreciated.


#2

No, he cannot force you to leave the residence. The year period for separation will begin on the day you separate for the last time. Since you have reconciled, the previous period of separation has ended. The same laws apply across the state, but depending upon the county in which you file your claims, there may be different local rules that apply that you need to follow.


#3

[quote=“thisisit”]My husband & I had separated for 3 years. We remained in contact the entire time I was gone & recently decided to reconcile. I moved back into our marital home, giving benefit of doubt that things had changed & would be better. Only to find out his betrayal/infidelity issues are worse than before.

I’ve been a dependent spouse the entire 8 years we’ve been married. Functioning as a homemaker & taking care of his son. I have a physical injury that prevents me from working. He’s been paying all of the bills, mortgage & had been giving me a monthly “allowance” & insisted he do so. He’s retired from the Army, gets retirement & disability pay (for which he claims me as a dependent, even when we separated) & works a full time job. Was it legal for him to claim me as a dependent to the government when I was absent from the home for 3 years? Would spousal support be an option for me given the circumstances?

Now, he insists I move out of our home that we jointly own. His son is 18 & a Senior in High School lives here as well (we don’t have children together). We are all cohabitating as room mates. I believe he’s involved with someone as I have only been back here 4 months & he’s persistent about wanting me to leave ASAP. He has resorted to belittling me on public social network sites. Can he force me to leave our home? If he can make me leave, would the NC separation statute(1 year 1 day) for divorce take place immediately? Or start from the date we separated 3 years ago before reconciling?

I don’t have a car or income & can’t afford a lawyer. I need advice how to proceed with this difficult situation. We were married in Cumberland County, but live in Hoke County. Do the counties that differ where we married & live make a difference in terms of divorce/separation proceedings? Are there any pro bono family law attorneys in this area that could assist me? Any advice you can provide will be greatly appreciated.[/quote]

NOT AN ATTORNEY
1.He cannot force you to leave unless you are violent.
2. Talk to an attorney about being forced to leave (if you decide to do that) and what your filing status would be (His cruel & unbearable treatment of you) Does he withhold sex? Call you names, threaten you? Cause you emotional stress? A consultation with an attorney is your BEST BET BEFOREyou leave.
3. You file in the county where you live - Hoke County as you mentioned.
4. As for finding an attorney - Open your phone book & make some calls (ask around for free or affordable consultations). Start with legal aid for a referral. Call a Women’s resource center. Its highly unlikely you will find anyone who will do it for free. Even if it turns out to be you filing & paying for the costs.
5. If possible, wait… get a job, save your money, consult an attorney… save more money , then do what you were advised to do , or retain your attorney.
6. Keep a cool head, don’t be impulsive or you will find yourself freaking out. (trust me I know!)
7. Maybe during all this get counseling? For you, to strengthen you & prepare you, or seek marital counseling
8. Gather important papers (or copies) of retirement papers, accounts, income taxes . You will need all this later.
9. SOME counties go by the 10 yr rule for alimony, but that doesn’t mean your not entitled to it or even PSS for a period of time.
10. VERY important to consult an attorney before leaving so you are not accused of abandonment.
11. Rosen Online offers a service for $199 per month for forms, guidance & professional advice . Something to consider.


#4

I have been meaning to write something like this on my website and you have given me an idea. Your post will be rather good.


#5

Not an attorney

Go to your court and see if they have a self help center. They have all the forms and can direct you in the right directions. They also gave me a list of Attorneys that would help.