Golfball/bias/unfairness


#1

Just for the record, I am not an attorney, merely a layman. Take with approrpriate quantity of salt.

quote:
[i]Originally posted by nowinsituation[/i] [br]Incomes: Him: 400,000+ Me: 72,000

Property: Him: More than 50%


Didn’t you get the marital dwelling?

quote:
Him: Control of children's UTMAs that he can use as he wishes

Since I’m not sure what these are, I can’t really comment. But if he has primary custody of the kids, giving him control of the childrens’ bank accounts doesn’t seem (at least at first glance) to be patently unfair.

quote:
Me: I have to pay him 200.00 a month for over a year for extracurricular expenses. He does not have to pay me.

Do you pay child support? And were the activities discussed at that court hearing you missed?

quote:
He has the right to sign my child up for anything and take my custodial time. There is nothing I can do.

See above. If this was discussed at a court hearing you chose not to attend, your recourse is limited, as your opinion of what is fair is not heard or considered.

quote:
Him: Adultery Moot point I receive 24,000 a year in alimony

Since any evidence of adultery would be a moot point (alimony is most certainly going to be awarded), and based on the limited data presented, I would agree with the judge, there’s no point in hearing it, the docket is already full enough, no need to spend time on an issue when the final outcome is going to be the same.

quote:
Me: Out of work for 20 years age 52 Now have to work the rest of my life. My 72,000 is about what I could have made had I worked during the marriage. I have to sell my house and cannot pay my bills(if I was trying to live at the same "standard") on the amount I have.

Standard of living goes down when a divorce occurs, because now you’re supporting two households (instead of one) on the same amount of income, and an income of $96,000 (or even $72,000) or so is plenty to live off of. Live in a modest house, watch the expenses, and you’re good to go.

So the fact that you cannot live at the same “standard” is not unfair, IMNSHO.


#2

You are right. You are not an attorney. Ex has enough money to support several households, but it’s “fair” in your opinion that I have to live at a reduced standard. Yes, I received the “marital dwelling” and some people seem to think that oh! wow! You got the house! What good is the house if you cannot afford to live in it? And no. The custody is joint 50/50 but what good is that when my child experiences a significant disparity in living conditions between the households? You have got to see this. There is no way someone with 72,000 a year can live in the same manner as someone with 400,000! Yes, I can “live” off the money, but I honestly do NOT have enough money to even come close to paying the things that was the “standard” during the marriage! And the UTMA are accounts that were begun for the children during the marriage. I helped save that money by living a frugal life. And now, he can use it for his built in child support and I have NO say in the matter. So, in your honest opinion, it’s ok for my standard to be reduced and he is sitting pretty while his ex wife and child live off l8% of the income of the marriage. That the Court, in its fairness, ORDERS me to pay money to the very person who destroyed my marriage and my life when he has over 20,000 more per month than me and the UTMA Accounts to use at his discretion. That it is ok for me to try to present my side in the Courtroom knowing that everything is going to go in the ex’s favor. I missed the one hearing. And that was the hearing about the 483.00 I owed him for uninsured medical. I paid him albeit in change. I didn’t think I needed to there since I paid the f***ing money! He’d rather pay his lawyer a couple of thousand dollars to get 483.00 out of me. Because he can.


#3

Incomes: Him: 400,000+ Me: 72,000

Property: Him: More than 50%

Him: Control of children’s UTMAs that he can use as he wishes

Me: I have to pay him 200.00 a month for over a year for extracurricular expenses. He does not have to pay me.

He has the right to sign my child up for anything and take my custodial time. There is nothing I can do.

Him: Adultery Moot point I receive 24,000 a year in alimony

Me: Out of work for 20 years age 52 Now have to work the rest of my life. My 72,000 is about what I could have made had I worked during the marriage. I have to sell my house and cannot pay my bills(if I was trying to live at the same “standard”) on the amount I have. Judge gave me the amount of allowance I received during marriage. Ludicrous to believe that was all the money spent on an income of 400,000+ per year. Didn’t count any monies from “his” account. Just my allowance. I was divorced during marriage and didn’t know it.